confessing my gastronomic sins yesterday gave me a new hope.
After confession I was off to work, where I only drunk water and a diet coke. And I finally had my healthy grilled lamb, with grilled vegetables and garlic yoghurt (cacik), and resisted the temptation to take a baklava from the cool room to ease my sugar craving. Later that night a man came in and got the grilled lamb take away (just the lamb) and he told me about his adventures on weight watchers and how he was about to have a 16pt chinese meal and decided to come in for some lamb instead... this man is somewhat a regular customer, but I was still kinda taken back by his willingness to talk openly to an almost-stranger about his weight-loss campaign. I've yet to tell my ever supportive boyfriend about my new plan, let alone an almost-stranger. Perhaps if I openly admitted to my chef boy that I want to lose my ass, he would be more inclined to make me grilled lamb, instead of pizza : )
There is something holding me back from telling him. I feel if I tell him, then fail, I'll forever have that hanging over my head, so next time when I gather up the courage to try again, he will be thinking 'here she goes again...' (much like my attitude towards his regular sunday night announcement 'I'm going to quit smoking tomorrow' sure you are baby, sure you are) This has always been the case when I've attempted to lose weight. I'll only tell people if they notice the kilos are going, or if I've developed a strong routine where I'm not going to 'fail' soon after I've announced the 'big news'.
Todays eating has been good, calorie wise, but not great nutritionally. I had to work the day shift (and I'll be working tonight too) so of course, I slept in until 20 minutes before I had to start - enough time to shower and throw my clothes on before racing out the door without breakfast. Luckily I have a stash of corn thins at work which I had for brekkie. And for lunch I had a chicken and salad wrap with hummus. Which all sounds okay, but no dairy or fruit! And my water consumption is way down!
And is it okay not to do any planned exercise considering I'll be working over 10 hours, running around after customers? I swear I'm getting in over 10, 000 steps (I couldnt find my pedometer.. I think I threw it out when we moved from our two bedroom apartment into the studio, I was ruthless in making sure we didnt cart boxes of useless shit into our tiny home)
I'm going to stop writing now.