Friday, October 28, 2005

fatties, fish and chips

Last night I was catching up on some reading over at Adventures of Born Again Gym Bunny and she had a link to a forum about fattism - employers discriminating against fat people. Now whether this is true or not, is not my main concern.. my concern are the comments by the general public and the way they see fat people. I was disgusted and so offended by these comments! I always knew that 'people' dont look kindly towards the fat, but I didnt realise some thought all we do is sit on the couch, eating burger after burger. Gorging was a word used regularly. Yes, I binge occasionally, yes I dont always make the right choices, yes I dont exercise as much as I should... but god damn it, it doesnt make me a lesser human being. (After reading as much of that forum as I could handle.. I did have a shower, wash my hair, fake tan my legs and gave myself a manicure... unkept fatty? I dont think so!)

But anyway.. I'm feeling great today. The boy and I have a gym date tomorrow, a little quality time together on the treadmill. Ha ha, My eating has been pretty good.. besides the battered fish I ate yesterday... I wasnt planning on eating battered fish. One of the girls at work suggested we get fish and chips for lunch... and we all came to the conclusion that we should get grilled fish, chips and salad. I was very happy with this.. but the fish came back battered! The fish shop near by only did fried fish.. so what was I meant to do? I ate a whole heap of salad, all my battered fish and a few chips. Afterwards, I thought I just should have picked the batter off the fish... but I really didnt think of it at the time. By the way, the fish tasted like crap and left my mouth coated in fat all afternoon.

And nicole, this was a fabulous question! You had me thinking for a long time about when our official wedding anniversary will be... especially since I wont be receiving my wedding band until Turkey (mainly because I want Turkish gold, secondly so the Turkish wedding seems more real) I say we celebrate the Sydney and the Turkish wedding anniversary! But the official date will be the first Sydney wedding, December 17th.

I hope youre all well and happy!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

this may turn out to be a very long post....

I am engaged! We were sitting on the couch, on Saturday, eating take out for lunch (chicken and salad for me.. don't you worry..) when my boy, got down on one knee and popped those magic words... and although I knew it was coming, it was wonderful!

So thats why I haven't been around much this past week.. way too much talking and thinking about weddings. There will be three weddings. One very soon and very small, december, in Sydney. One in September next year in Turkey (my boy is turkish) then a big party for everyone who didn't go to Turkey.

Now on to the fat side of things

For this first wedding, everything is fine.. I'm happy enough with how I'm going to look in my dress. I've already bought it, and although the sales lady was a little shocked I wanted to try on a size 14 (fuck you bitch, fuck you), it fits perfectly and I love it. Its not a real wedding dress.. just a pretty, white, summer dress that I feel very comfortable in. (there will be photos! with a blurred face.. ha ha)

If I lose another few kilos between now and december 17th (thats like, 7 weeks) I will be very happy, but I'm not going to push myself.. just carry on eating well and being active and hope it takes care of itself. (although I secretly yearn to be under 70 kgs by then! shhh... but its SO doable!)

For the Turkish wedding though, I will be wearing a real wedding dress... and real wedding dresses require sleek arms and boobs that can hold themselves up. And its the first time I will be meeting my boys family and friends.. and although they have seen photos of me and already love me... I dont want to be a fat bride.

And also! I told the girls at work about my engagement etc... and towards the end of the conversation, one of them said 'you dont have that much time really... and you'll have to get fit...' I just shrugged it off, but God damn it.. I hate it when people say shit like that. She has never noticed when I've bought my gym bag to work before, and she doesnt know that I've already lost 9kg, but I bet you now she will notice it all and just assume I'm doing this all for the wedding.. and I dont know why this pisses me off so bad.. but it just does! I guess I dont want my hard work to be related to the wedding. This isnt just about looking good in a dress! This is about me making a change in my life for the rest of my life... I'm married to this weight loss - healthy living idea too, you know?

(and thanks skinny chicki for the tag! will do it tonight)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

thursday (?) weigh in

I missed yesterdays weigh in! I woke up late and totally forgot about it. I wasnt organised at all yesterday! I didnt bring any food with me to work, but I did manage to have quite a healthy day... bought an egg on wholemeal roll for breakfast, picked up a banana from the sandwich shop and had that for a snack, and went to the sandwich shop for lunch and bought a wrap with lots of good things (and a baby chocolate.. shh!). On my way home from work, I bought a peach, a lean cuisine and a head of broccoli. $30 later, it was a pretty good day. So even if I'm not prepared, I've just got to summon some 'willpower' for those days.

Today, I am semi organised. I have bought snacks with me, but will buy my lunch. And I was organised enough to weigh myself this morning..... 73kg!! This number is fabulous! 1 kg away from a 10kg loss! and only 4 kg away from weighing what I did when I was 16. I remember I was fat but was fitting into a size 14. Oh bring it on! I have been trying on the occasional size 14 skirt (have I ever told you guys that I dont wear pants? I'll save this story for another day) and they are not so bad (always a flattering style, of course). But giddy up for 73!

Exercise.. hmm.. I did manage to walk home on Tuesday, but did nothing yesterday, and to be quite honest, I dont see any happening today either! After work I have to make menus for my waitressing job. But so I'm not so naughty, I will do some sit ups and what not at home tonight, maybe even get out the skipping rope.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

top of the mornin' to ya!

I saw a fabulous number on the scales this morning, but since today is not 'weigh day' I will keep it a big fat secret and I hope I see the same figure tomorrow.

Things have been going along great. I didnt do any planned exercise yesterday, however at 8:30 pm last night I get a call from waitressing job asking me to come in. They were super busy, so I ran down to help them, and spent the next 1 and half hours running around like crazy. And although I was totally pissed at them for calling me, it was better for my bottom than sitting on the couch watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire (yay to the guy that won the million last night!) I did make it home in time to see the last half hour of The Biggest Loser. I love the girl with the glasses and blonde hair. She reminds me of me. And we have the same body shape too.. kinda skinny up top, then a big balloon around the hips and ass. And she is just cute! (like me, der.. I joke, I joke)

Yesterday I ate quite well. For some reason, I was hungry all day! I would eat, then 2 hours later my stomach would be growling! And it wasnt a hunger/thirst problem, I was actually hungry. So I ended up going a wee bit over my calories, but it was all nutritionally balanced.

I have my one litre bottle of water next to me, a diet coke, a sandwich in the fridge, fruit and a k-time bar in my bag (in case one of yesterdays hunger pangs return!) and I have every intention of walking home from the station tonight. I'm all set!

Have a good day kids!

Monday, October 17, 2005

lets go back to bed

ahh monday morning... its a rainy horrible day and I could very easily fall asleep at my desk right now. I'm exhausted!

Brunch with the family was lovely, although not great for the calories, but the brunch was in celebration of my birthday last week, so poo. If I want scrambled eggs I can have scrambled eggs (with cream, I'm very sure).

We did end up going fishing and caught FOUR leather jackets! Whilst the boy fished, I went for a hike. It was gorgeous and I even managed to run most of the way back. I really like running on rough terrain, having to dodge roots and stones, running up and down rock stairs. Its much more fun than the treadmill and it left me gasping for breath every now and then (but it a good way!) All up, I think my hike was about 5km. Next time, I will complete the entire trail, which apparently takes 2 hours return if you are strolling. But I think I could do it in less than an hour.

And onto the fish dish last night.. oh yum! The boy had last night off work so he cooked up a wonderful semi-stew thing with our leather jackets. It consisted of a little olive oil, onion, carrot, zucchini, lots of fresh tomato and a little bit of potato, all stewed together, then you add a whole peeled lemon, diced, the fish fillets straight into the stew with a touch more water, finished with tones of parsley . We served this with a little bit of organic spelt bread, and oh la la, it was one of the tastiest fish dishes I have had. Such simple wonderful flavours that all worked perfectly together.

And on another good note, the boy wants to start back at the gym. He only wants to go on the weekends, but I say great! I can go once or twice during the week, then twice on the weekend with the boy and I will be a happy happy girl.

Must go actually work! tah tah

Saturday, October 15, 2005

burn baby burn

Thursday afternoon I made a little book at work.. its oh so cute! it contains 40 days worth of food and exercise tracking - for my calories, fat, dairy, fruit, vege, exercise and water intake, all bound together with a red cover. I also bought the calorie/fat book. And I've been tracking for the last three days. I havent made it to the gym yet, but I have walked and been really active. Today I cleaned the house.. and I'm not talking about no quick tidy up. I'm talking about 6 hours scrubbing, dusting, moving furniture, on my hands and knees, kinda cleaning. Considering my home is the size of a large living room, 6 hours has left it sparkling! But now I'm beat and I have 5 hours of waitressing ahead. But think of the calories I have burnt!

My boy has a 'thing' for sweet pastries. Lately, when he goes on the weekend morning coffee run, he has been bringing back chocolate croissants, apple tarts, almond croissants, apricot danishes - and yes, all at once! Today I resisted, and only had two bites of the chocolate croissant, and made myself a poached egg with tomato and a slice of toast.

I have plans for tomorrow, brunch with the family, then a fishing trip with the boy. And if the fishing trip goes ahead, dependent on the weather and how long this brunch lasts for, I will walk whilst the boy fishes (I can only handle fishing for a certain amount of time before I start to go nuts!) The place where we fish is stunning! and its on the edge of a national park, so there are plenty of tracks for me to walk. And hopefully I'll be grilling some nice fresh fish tomorrow night!

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

well hello!

Its been a long time baby, and boy have I gone off the rails. Thats all that seems to be happening lately. No gym, food I shouldnt be eating quite so regularly, not enough water etc.. all those things that make me a big fat poohbar.. but on the bright side.. living this lifestyle of sloth and gluttony hasnt lead to a gain.. I'm still hovering around the 74 to 74 kg mark. I'm still reading everyones blogs, and visiting daily... kinda pretending I'm still a weight loser and that I havent left.

Oh and my diet diary expired! I didnt realise I had to pay $50 every few months. I thought it was a one time fee. But any who, its no good to me now. I can only use it at home and I feel like I'm never there any more. I'm either going to use the online version (which is slow and annoying) or buy a calorie/fat book. The later is probably the best option because its portable - no excuses!

I've got a bit of thinking to do, about how I'm going to tackle this. I want to get back to the gym, to start tracking what I put in my mouth, to start shedding this fat again!

And thank you to Skinni Chicki - your comment gave me a little push.