the [not so] secret life of chubba

the food diary

2007-02-08T15:45:00.000+11:00

Its taken me a little while to get into it, but I'm back using a food diary and it feels good. I've had a couple shocker days, but all in all it seems to be going well. I threw the Slimming magazine food diary in the recycling and have been keeping tabs of my food in a text file (ha! so high tech). Its all cute and colour coded though! I am wishing I owned Excel so I could make my calories and fat add up all by itself instead of me counting on my fingers, its quite tedious!

Exercise, of course, is my down fall! Especially since it's the return of rating season.. holy crap, the tv is so damn good right now! For a while there I wasnt watching tv at all. I would be home all day working, then it would be 10pm and I'd realise the tv hadnt been on once. And it was nice. But geez, who can resist the return of House and Prison Break. And The Biggest Loser has started. And Heroes, My Name is Earl and oh, its just too much for a girl to handle!

My life is so sad...

Speaking of sad, I went shopping on the weekend. I had been avoiding the shops because the boy and I are on a savings mission but we have an engagement and baptism to attend soon so I thought I should start looking. No luck! Everything I liked was always just a tiny bit too tight. About 5 kilos too tight. I am, however, digging the mustard yellows I keep seeing. I must get me a mustard yellow cardigan, so cute!

I think I just blogged out my plan. Less tv + more exercise = 5 kilos gone = cuter clothes for parties.

In other exciting news, our veggie garden is pretty much dead. A caterpillar has grown very fat eating all my spinach and basil. And our tomatoes arent getting enough nutrients (due to the boys suggestion of planting tomatoes in a little planter box!). I have been fertilising and using worm wee but to no avail. The tomatoes will have to be transplanted to my mums real garden.

Thank you glossy magazine!

2007-01-27T22:26:00.000+11:00

At the supermarket check out tonight I picked up a copy of 'Slimming and Health' magazine, and I bought it for the read (damn supermarkets and their positioning of magazines.. evil I tell you). Attached to the front was a 'hand bag size Food and Fitness Diary' - ooohh lucky me! (note the sarcasm)

Well I thought since I'd had a reasonably healthy day besides a 600 ml coke, I'd fill it out and feel pretty good about myself. Not quite! 1940 calories and 69.7 grams of fat. Holy crap sticks! Living in denial my friend.

Wanna know what I ate?

Breakfast
1 toasted cheese and vegemite sandwich
(wholemeal bread, little butter, low fat cheese)

Snack
1/2 a peanut butter and honey sandwich
1 cappuccino with 1/2 teaspoon of sugar

Lunch
Small serve of wholemeal pasta with grilled asparagus, fetta and a little olive oil
600 ml coke

Dinner
Small veal steak crumbed in wholemeal bread, fried with smear of olive oil (it was a smear, I swear!)
Steamed carrots, green beans and broccoli, dash of olive oil
Small boiled potato
Lemon

Snack
4 squares of dark chocolate

And I just remembered I didnt even add the 3 nuts I ate whilst unpacking the groceries : )

I guess if I take out the coke and the chocolate it wouldnt have been so bad - 1480 calories and 55.7 grams of fat. And I could have substituted the honey and peanut butter sandwich for some yoghurt. And if I had done this, my day would have been perfect-o! (oh, and I should have eaten some fruit.. god damn it)

So now I'm thanking Slimming and Health magazine for a little wake up call. I might just start filling out my hand bag sized Food and Fitness diary for the prescribed 7 weeks. I dont want to go back to counting calories hardcore but I could definitely do it for 7 weeks to keep my (expanding) ass in line!

Remember, I said this was a healthy day. I can only imagine the figures from yesterday. What have I been doing to myself? I have noticed my clothes getting tighter, my belly feeling 'jiggly-er'. The scales arent saying much - they tell me I weigh 75 kg. Thats 3 kilos more than what I was 6 months ago, but 6 months ago I had some muscle.

I'm going to go ponder, in a non depressing kind of way! Wish me luck : )

super duper busy

2007-01-23T21:19:00.000+11:00

this last week and a half has been flat out... too much work and too much play. And now I've got some sort of flu-y thing. But I'll soilder on! I've just completed a big job today so I can chill out a little bit now...

Healthy food and exercise was non existent! There is something about a web design job that has me sitting for hours staring at the computer and drinking copious amounts of coca cola like a 14 year old boy playing wizard computer games. Thank god its over! I must find a new way to deal with web design.. it takes over my life. I cant stop until everything is 'working'. oph!

I always do this.. whenever I am stressed out and busy, healthy food and exercise takes second place. The food I should be able to fix. I should have some quick stand by food on hand for the days where I'm working until late. And you know what, now that I'm thinking about it, the exercise part should be easy too! Gosh, I'm not so busy that I cant take 45 mins to get some fresh air and go for a walk. And I always feel so much better for it.

Tonight's dinner was super healthy to make up for the last week - ha! A big bowl of colourful stir-fried veggies, including some super tasty water chestnuts, and a few steamed dumplings. I must remember to buy water chestnuts more often. I love eating them straight out of the can.. apparently they are a good source of vitamin c, iron and potassium. And its yin (as opposed to yang)! and I totally dont know if I'm yin or yang, but whatever : )

And I'm so naughty, I've been smoking. I feel like crap because of it. That will be changing again, very very soon. Says she with a cigarette in her hand right now!

our babies

2007-01-13T11:02:00.000+11:00

our babies - the vegie patch
Originally uploaded by nat and sulo.

a few weeks back the boy and I did a little gardening and sowed seeds in these old planters stuck to our courtyard fence. (note the tres sexy red brick.. eek!) In the first image you can see tall tomatoes towards the back and eggplant (known as aubergine in some circles) in the forground. Next is a close up of some spinach (we planted another lot of spinach, but it doesnt get as much sun and has been stunted). Then we have some parsely and basil. We also have oregano and baby carrots.

The boy and I often fight over who gets to water them. If one of us is missing from the house, there is a good chance the person in question will be standing by the veggie planter boxes, just looking.

Somethings to remember today:

water! I'm feeling kinda dehydrated.

yogalates. I would have preferred a swim but its overcast and a little windy.

I have to work tonight. no more procrastinating!

I'm off to get coffee! Enjoy your weekend!

dinner

2007-01-12T20:10:00.000+11:00

polenta
Originally uploaded by nat and sulo.

true to my word, I put a little extra effort into dinner tonight. I made polenta. Embarrassingly, I've never eaten polenta before, and I was rather impressed. Originally I wanted grilled polenta with mixed mushrooms.. but the local vege shop only had two rather bland varieties of mushrooms left which were hardly appealing! So it was soft polenta with spinach and parmesan. balsamic and thyme baked tomato. and some eye fillet.

I'm off for my walk!

house wife.

2007-01-12T11:20:00.000+11:00

I've just made YP's apple and apricot compote and its very delicious. I cheated a little by only soaking the apricots for 30 mins (it was a last minute decision to make it for breakfast and I was hungry!) I was hoping to eat my apple compote with some natural yoghurt, but alas, it had gone bad. The only other yoghurt was some naughty King Island Dairy vanilla bean. Its a 'dessert' yoghurt and it was all a bit too much with the compote so I ended up eating around the yoghurt and of course, now I'm still hungry : )

The Boy is currently in discussions with his old boss about his old job with a brand new salary! Before we went on holidays, The Boy did the same as me.. quit his job with the intention of doing something different when we returned. And he did. He got his dream position at his dream company. (damn him and his super luck!) but it turned out its not as dreamy as we had hoped. So his old boss has offered him his old job back with a ludicrously huge pay increase. If all is well and he accepts, this will mean I can be totally carefree about my creative pursuits - not worrying if they will bring in enough money to cover the rent. And this feels fabulous. However, this will have me doing more cleaning! The Boy is totally cool with me earning sporadic money, as long as he doesnt have to clean the house. He begrudgingly abides by my feminist 'if we both contribute financially to the running of the household, then we both must contribute to the up keep of the household' rule. Its about to totally swing his way, god damn it!

My health is just coasting along at the moment. I've recovered from my tummy bug. I've been eating well, but nothing spectacular. The Boy and I made a wonderful stew on Wednesday night - saute onion and beef, add tomato paste, water and a heap of whatever vegies are around, a crap load of pepper and simmer, simmer, simmer. It was just so simple and delicious. I miss that The Boy is always at work during dinner time. I could never be bothered to 'stew' something just for my little old self (even though its easy as, its kinda hard to make a 'small' stew). Must put more energy into my dinners!

Its going to be a killer hot day - over 40C they say. Which means a swim and a walk along the beach around 8pm will be in order! Until then, I'm keeping locked inside with a pile of work that needs to be done, ugh : )

swimmers and stuff

2007-01-10T19:21:00.000+11:00

I bought new swimmers today! I have been meaning to buy some new ones for ages, but I hadnt planed to buy any today which meant it wasnt stressful at all. I saw a cute 50's style one piece in black with gorgeous green leaves all over, tried it on and it looked lovely! (well as lovely as a pair of swimmers is going to look on me). I've searched all over the internet to find a picture of them to show, but alas, I cant find them. The only draw back was the price.. so they are in lay-buy (lay away for some) until pay day. Its scary that lycra can run into 3 figures! But they will look so cute with a big black floppy hat!

Cute swimmers make swimming in public much more bearable. I'm going to look fat no matter what, but at least the fat is wrapped nicely.

The last few days haven't been too good. I seem to have some sort of tummy bug. I was sick a lot in Turkey, I think I broke some sort of Guinness record of 'how many times a person can get travellers diarrhoea in 4 months' so I think my digestive system is still quite sensitive. I've been weak and nauseous but today I think its all over. I have to strengthen my tummy. Lots of yoghurt and yakult is in order! Any other suggestions?

Scales say I'm down a kilo which is wonderful! I'm still 'up' compared to what I was before christmas but I'm working on it : )

some things I've done today...

2007-01-06T17:27:00.000+11:00

that have been positive and healthy

eaten carman's museli with soy milk

swam a few laps and played in the pool

barely thought about a cigarette and noticed I've been coughing a lot - a fabulous sign that the little hairs in my lungs are recovering!

sat on the couch with a mango

did a bit of chubba redesign, and I think I'm pretty happy with it for now

started designing business cards for my freelancing and I think they look hot

Now I'm off to search through some cookbooks before I go to the supermarket to get some things for dinner. I really should remember to organise my time better so that I get to the shops before the local butcher, deli and vege shop close. I'd like to buy more produce from local businesses rather than the big supermarket!

a new direction

2007-01-06T12:01:00.000+11:00

I dont want to talk about 'weight loss' any more. I want to talk about becoming who I want to be. I've had some moments lately where I've realised I'm not living the life I want to lead. Its got nothing to do with my surroundings, my friends, family or my husband.. its got to do with me. I have this vision of who I am in my head, but I dont think I project that vision very often.

2007 is about me. I just want a healthy balanced life. I want walks along the beach, I dont want the dishes to pile up in the sink. I want to paint my walls white. I want a cute hair cut. I want to drink litres of water every day because it makes me feel good. I want glowing skin. I want great sex. I want my business to be a success but still have time to sew and create. I want to be waxed more often. I want to cook elaborate, healthy meals. I want to be a better, happier wife. I want to take more photographs. I want to learn to drive. I want to be a healthy weight. I want to cross more off my 'to do' lists. I want to pay my bills on time. Its time for a change.

I've started 2007 well by quiting smoking. I've been taking walks along the beach. Doing my Yogalates dvd (a combo of yoga and pilates). Eating muesli and soy milk for breakfast. I've been drinking more water.

And I'm starting to feel much better!

struggling

2006-11-26T19:04:00.000+11:00

ooph! why am I finding it so hard to get back into being healthy? On friday night I went to the pub with a friend and had a chicken schnitzel with chips, salad and hollandaise sauce.. hello! thats a heart attack on a plate : ) luckily I ate all the salad.

this week will be a little easier I think. The Boy and I did a really good shop yesterday so there is lots of yummy healthy food in the house. Although tomorrow night I am going out for dinner again... dammit : )

I'm making some goals for the week... just little ones at the moment to help me regain my focus.

- cut back on the coca cola! 1 glass per day (with the goal of getting it down to a few glasses per week)
- walk/jog 3 x 1hr
- very limited refined sugar products. step away from the biscuits at my mums.
- eat a piece of fruit every day
- be conscious of how much butter/oil/sauce/cheese etc I am using.
- drink 8 glasses of water every day. no excuses!

easy!

well I'm off to make some dinner... something healthy of course.. maybe some grilled lamb and vegies.

tuna pasta salad

2006-11-26T18:08:00.000+11:00

tuna pasta salad
Originally uploaded by chubbagirl.

my new favourite lunch! Its easy peasy.

for 2 - 3 people (technically 3, but The Boy eats enough for two)

2 small cans of of sirena tuna in oil. well drained. (I like the chilli variety, but 'italian syle' is just as good) And i guess you dont need to use Sirena brand, but that tuna is the best dude.

1 small tomato, diced

1/2 a small red onion, diced

handful of green beans, blanched and cut into pieces

1 boiled egg, diced

lots of parsely and chives

a little parmesan cheese

few handfuls wholemeal pasta, cooled under cold water and drained very well.

put it all in a bowl, mix it up, add a little s+p and tah dah! no extra oil is required because of the tuna in oil. a little bit of lemon juice might be nice too.

getting back in the groove

2006-11-16T15:43:00.000+11:00

well hello! I'm back in Australia! well, I've been back for two weeks now but I just havent had much to say health wise. I've just been taking it easy and trying to maintain... I came back to Australia weighing 71kg but I weighed in today at 73kg. Eesh! Must have been those meat pies! I hope it was just a once off.. I'll check again tomorrow. But I have a feeling it could be true. I've been eating things I would normally try to avoid... hot chips, meat pies, icecream (that is stupidly sitting in the freezer and calling my name!), sticky date pudding... and these were all eaten in my home! That meant I bought them and brought them into my house. Very silly! I could forgive myself if they were eaten out, or at someone elses house... but in my house I should have complete control!

This has got to change of course. And it will : ) Its been so long since I've been in 'diet mode' that it feels like I'm starting from the beginning. But its good. I've pretty much maintained for the last few months. I dont have that 'fuck, I have to lose the weight I've already lost' feeling! I'm going to get back into the 'trainers eating plan'. Start taking some walks - I'm living right on the beach with a beautiful paved walking track, I'd be a fool not to use it! And once we get some more money coming in, its back to the gym. There are a few options around this new area I'm living in and I'll start looking into them soon. I've got a free pass to one of them, yay : )

Also, I'm not going back to 9 - 5 design work. I'll be working part time and doing my own design business and working on a new business venture, so I dont have a set routine. Which is kinda hard... it feels like every day is a weekend. For my diet sanity I have to establish a routine! I'll be thinking long and hard about this one.

The other night I met up with some friends I hadnt seen in over 5 months and there were compliments all round on how I was looking! But really, I havent really lost any weight in the last 5 months. None of the girls had mentioned my weight loss before, so I'm thinking that they had finally just realised I was looking different, you know what I mean? They have an idea in their heads of what I should look like. I had slowly been changing in front of their eyes but they still kept that same idea. So when I met up with them after such a long time, they were expecting to see that original chubba and when it wasnt, it finally sunk in : )

I'll keep you updated a lot more regularly now that I have an internet connection!

love chubba

my waist is back, baby

2006-10-15T21:22:00.000+10:00

I'm writing this on the 8th of October. I'm kinda bored in the village and golly gosh I need something to do.. so I'm kinda updating the blog.

Whilst I havent stepped on a scale for almost 4 months now, I'm pretty certain I have lost all my holiday weight while still on holiday! Fabulous, just fabulous. I hadnt really noticed until I was in the shower the other day. I was washing my oblique area and wow! where did all the fat go? It felt smooth and almost hard (haha, almost!).

The inlaws have been savvy to this weight loss for a while now. Since we have returned to the village its all they have been talking about, with a lot of tut tutting! I've had old photos of me bought out and compared to my current physique and with my bad turkish I've understood 'before, fat. you very beautiful. now.. tut tut'. Every time I eat comments are made about how I didnt eat enough and food is thrust into my hands. But rest assured my friends, I am eating plenty! I've come to my own conclusion based on what I know of Turkish culture.. my weight loss reflects badly on them as hosts. If a guest looses weight whilst staying in their house it makes them look like they havent provided enough. Its all rather hilarious and I cant just force myself to eat more to stop them looking bad : )

Ramadan is going quite well. I skipped a few days because of a cold. I've tried to ensure every meal is nutritionally balanced as possible.. some days are easier than others, depending on who is cooking. (oh, have I ever actually said that we are staying at The Boys parents house in the village, and that his brother, wife and two kids live here too? So its either the mum, sister in law or me and The Boy cooking. But the mum and the sister in law cook the same things anyways..) Unfortunately I've run out of oats and you cant get oats locally, so no more bircher museli for me! I perfected a lovely blend of oats, grated apple, dried apricots, sultanas, almonds, walnuts and a sprinkle of coconut. I've also been terribly naughty at times with chocolate and tahini helva (a sweet made from sesame seeds.. sooo good!)

The best part about being back in the village has been the mushroom hunting! Hours of fun hiking through the forest looking for tender young mushrooms. So many tasty varieties all ready to be turned into a lovely risotto. And trampling up hills is wonderful exercise too! We've turned our mushrooms into stirfries, thanks to the help of some noodles and oyster sauce found in ONE Istanbul store. And we fired up the outdoor wood oven and made mushroom pizzas from scratch (and pizzas with other goodies too whilst we were at it). Mushroom soup and mushrooms sauted with onions and tomato. We have been mushroom crazy! (ooph, all this food... how have I lost weight at all?)

Only a few weeks left in Turkey before back to reality... I'm not looking forward to it, but I have some great news about a new apartment thats available for us to move into when we return.. the beach is at our front door and a pool is at our back door! so bloody perfect for summer and the rent is super dooper cheap! More about that later and my summer fitness plans (that of course, revolve around the beach and the pool!)

ta tah!

tomato paste and fasting

2006-09-20T22:42:00.000+10:00

Okay, im not even going to mention my lack of blogging.. shhh! Since i last wrote, ive been in the village, eating village food. You see, The Boys family is pretty much self sufficient. İf its growing in the garden, they eat it. Youve got tomatoes, peppers, beans, cucumbers and onions. Maybe some corn (which ive discovered is really maize and not so tasty) if youre lucky. So every meal revolves around these veggies. i dont want to see another freaking cucumber for a very long time!

Ive also discovered that many village foods can be made from tomato paste. Potatoes boiled with onion and tomato paste. Chickpeas boiled with tomato paste. Pasta boiled then dressed in butter and tomato paste. We once had all three of these carbs and tomato paste for lunch, with white bread and no salad. And my mother in law was still confused why I didnt touch my bread.. ha! Oh gosh, i sound like an ungrateful little snob! Im not, really! I just find it fascinating after years of nutritional research and trying to be ‘healthy’.

Weve also been travelling around Turkey, doing all the touristy stuff and having a blast. Weve spent lazy days swimming in the Aegean sea, other days exploring countless ruins, done Ephesus, Gallipoli, Cappadoccia, lots of hours on coaches, eating lots of fabulous foods, some not so fabulous seafood leaving me sick for days, another time i drank some tap water and ended up with a drip in my arm, hilarious stuff i tell you! Ive spent too much money on wonderful handcrafts – gorgeous bags and felt blankets.

But the travel is all over. On Sunday starts Ramadan (for those of you who dont know, its 30 days of fasting during daylight hours. Its a Muslim thing. And for those wondering about my religion.. who knows dude, who knows.) I will be taking part… and im really looking forward to it. Sure, its probably not so great for my metabolism but its going to be some very healthy 30 days!

We will be in the village for most of Ramadan, and ive already compiled a shopping list of foods to buy in Istanbul before entering the village of white bread! Muesli, nuts, brown rice and pasta, yoghurt, cans of tuna, low fat milk and cheese, lean meats, lots of nutrionally rich foods and maybe some good quality dark chocolate : ) The wonderful thing about the village is that there is very little temptation. The food ive got is the food ive got to eat (even though it will draw lots of attention from the inlaws! Im a bit concerned about offending them by cooking seperately! But a fat girl’s gotta do what a fat girl’s gotta do)

I will be back near a computer in a few weeks time and Im looking forward to giving an update! Wish me luck!

turkiye!

2006-08-07T06:27:00.000+10:00

hey all! thought it was about time i said hello! ive been having a wonderful time. The first two weeks centred around the wedding, which was like nothing ive ever experienced... for those who want a full recap on our Turkish village style wedding, complete with photos (where I reveal my identity... oooohh! juicy!) you can email me at natty_o at hotmail.com and İll email you. i dont want to post photos of my face here.. im a wuss and dont want to be 'outed' any time soon : )

I think im getting fatter! I havent weighed myself, because no one seems to have scales in their bathrooms. There are plenty of little kids and old men on the footpath charging 1lira to weigh on their scales but there is something not quite right about standing on a scale in the middle of the street : )

But yes, I am definately fatter. I guess I have gained 4 kg. Which for 4 weeks of holidaying isnt so bad.. but Ive got another 12 weeks of holidaying, and thats bloody scary! İ have none of my weight loss tools with me.. no calorie counter, no gym, no personal trainer, no idea what im eating half the time! İve eaten liver, tripe and intestines without even knowing : ) Even when I try cook for myself, its quite hard as half of my regular ingredients cant be found in the local shops here - I travelled almost 2 hours to a fancy little shop in some filthy rich suburb to find balsamic vinegar : )

And the bread! The copious amounts of white bread! My trainer would be having a heart attack if he knew how much white bread i have consumed. And brown rice does not exist, except in that fancy little shop : )

I may moan, but the food has been amazing. Ive eaten wild plums straight from the tree, there are watermelons every where right now, the sweetest juiciest peaches are 2 lira a kilo (in australia, they would be atleast 6 dollars a kilo in peak season), bread is baking three times a day, so much fetta, lots of grilled lamb, the tastiest kofte at a truck stop. hmm.. these all seem to be very healthy foods.. why is my ass getting fatter? just way too much food, and lots of non healthy foods in between. like being on the road and eating crisps, or the white rice cooked with oil, the fried peppers, the baklava and chocolate\pistachio puddings, too much coke, the beer, wine and sitting near the aegean sea with a fruity cocktail.. sigh. its a been fabulous!

But the holiday eating has got to stop. I've started to cut back on the white bread, much to The Boy's family's dismay : ) Im going to work out a way to eat following the trainers guidelines as much as possible. Next week, when we go to stay in the Village, there will be lots of opportunity for hiking so ill just have to get my butt into gear!

sorry!

2006-06-27T08:54:00.000+10:00

hey kids! sorry I havent been around lately. Between wrapping things up at work, packing up our apartment, final dress fittings, shopping for countless australian themed gifts, and writing long long 'to do' lists, I havent had much energy to sit down and blog : ) I seem to be doing so much, but I feel like I'm getting no where!

I started to write a post last week, celebrating a year of blogging! and to celebrate, I finally lost 10kg! My home scales say 72kg! which may or may not be accurate, but it used to say 82kg, which may or may not be accurate. So 10 kgs it is! I'm quite proud, even if it did take over 12 months to achieve, but dude, better 10 kg less than 10 kg more!

Oh, and I didnt break up with Mr PT. I only have one more week with him before I leave, so I figure its best I go considering my gym visits have been a tad sporadic lately.

I leave for Turkey next Thursday! I'll be taking my laptop with me, so I'm sure there will be some random posting over the coming months. I have a million things to blog about, but my brain isnt working : (

I may have to break up with Mr PT

2006-06-14T16:13:00.000+10:00

yesterday I left work early with a migraine. This is the second migraine I've ever had in my life - the last time I was 15 and it hit me in science class. I thought if I went home and just slept a few hours, I'd be fine and I could go to the gym that night. It didnt work. I woke up at 7 pm, still in pain. I called Mr PT and left a message on his mobile phone canceling our 8 pm session. Late notice, I know!

So at 8:10 pm I had a phone call from him. He was 'politely' abusing me. He was telling me how he is running a business and if I cancel on him at the last minute he cant get someone to replace me and if I had called him earlier it would have been fine, yak yak yak. My head was throbbing. All I wanted to do was scream 'dude! I'm paying you $65 whether you train me or not, so shut up!' but all I could manage was a 'yep, uh huh, sorry'. He hung up, I called my husband and broke into tears. I dont know if it was the migraine, my pms or if he truly upset me that much, but either way, I dont want to see Mr PT any more!

He booked me in for 6 pm next tuesday. Its my last pre-paid session. I will go. But at the end of that session I'll be terminating his services. I'm happy for what he has done for me, but I dont want to deal with that crap.

I havent been the best lately! I've taken on 2 more waitressing shifts, which means I'm working my regular 9 - 5, five days a week, plus thursday, friday and saturday nights. So I've been trying to work out where the gym fits in. Mr PT also expects me to be walking a few mornings every week. (although he is a poo, I will still take his advice!)

My best option
monday - gym
tuesday - walk and gym
wednesday - gym
thursday - walk
friday - gym before work
saturday - walk
sunday - my lazy day!

Thats four gym session and three walks. Today is wednesday, so gym it is tonight! The good thing about waitressing is that I'm burning quite a few calories every shift, but I seem to be eating them afterwards! I'm going to place my dinner order before my shift. I'm going to think of something healthy to eat before I get too hungry/tired/the kitchen has closed and the only thing they will make me is pizza!

typical update : )

2006-06-02T16:46:00.000+10:00

I've had a topsy-turvy week.. I missed my PT session due to a mild case of the flu I had picked up whilst nursing The Boy who had picked up a far worse strain. I ate a hamburger for lunch on Wednesday because the girl I sit next to at work convinced me I could eat something naughty because I was sick. I hadnt gone to the gym since last Thursday!

So I went to the gym last night. I still wasnt feeling 100% so I told myself I only had to do 30 mins of cardio - 15 mins on the bike, 15 mins run. I did it, left and went shopping for groceries. I find myself shopping more and more at the fruit and vege shop. I pretty much did my entire week's shopping there. They sell a small selection of groceries - like pasta, great range of dairy, canned beans, tuna, canned tomatos etc. All raw ingredients, nothing too processed. All I need to do now is run into the local mini supermarket and grab laundry/personal items. nice!

I'm feeling a little rush of motivation. I've started keeping a food diary again. I stopped doing that because I havent been counting calories and thought there was no need because I've been following the trainer's eating plan. But I think the food diary is vital. Vital for remembering I had a treat 'off plan' two days ago, so I really shouldnt be having another treat today, if you know what I mean! Also, the food diary should help me keep the weekends under a little more control!

wrap dresses and jeans

2006-05-29T10:28:00.000+10:00

every fashion store in sydney has been bombarded with wrap dresses! At first I was excited by this - most are a decent length and a v-neck line looks great on me. I tried on my first wrap dress this weekend. note to all the 'fat bottom' girls out there - do not do it! major pear alert. my husband, who was dutifully hanging out near the change rooms saw me in the wrap dress and out came 'baby... can I be really honest with you? from your waist up, its great but.... hmm..' The said dress was returned to the rack! I went to another store and tried on a slightly different style, just to be sure, but nope. There will be no wrap dresses for me this year : )

I think I've mentioned it here before - I dont wear pants. With my 5'3" pear shape, a pair of pants makes my ass look like a ball on a stick, or a dumpy clown. So I'm more fond of a skimming a-line skirt. Even in the middle of winter. I just add some tights, a big scarf, coat and I'm fine. This is Sydney after all. But sometimes a girl just wants to wear some jeans! Being a bit of a mental case, occasionally I walk into a shop, grab a random pair of pants and try them on. I did this again on the weekend.. I got The Boy to do the random picking for me (he must think I'm a total nutter sometimes.. but he keeps indulging my whims) He picked out a very nice pair of jeans and I'm pleased to report they were 53% wearable. Front was fantastic! thighs, smooth. belly, flat. Then we spin around to the side. Bum profile, perky, not too bulbous. But the wide load back shot - not too good.

The Boy. once again: 'baby... can I be really honest with you...?'

Chubba: 'oh shut up!'

We then went home and had fabulous sex. Sometimes I really love that man : )

(by the way - my shopping expedition wasnt so bad, I did manage to find two skirts I love - one reduced from $100 to $20. love it! a few beads, a purse and a pair of shoes.. pretty good day I say)

date with Mr PT

2006-05-24T12:54:00.000+10:00

so Mr PT and I had our weekly date last night. He informed me that in two weeks time my program will be changing - I'll be going all hardcore before I go to Turkey. I'm more than willing to go super hardcore. In two weeks time I'll have measurements taken to see how I've progressed so far. He tells me he is expecting some drop between our inital measurements and now, but is expecting a considerable drop during the 'hardcore weeks'. My maths tell me the hardcore phase will last 3 weeks (with a week and a bit of me doing it on my own before I leave Sydney).

I weighed myself this morning. 72.5 kg on the home scale. It hasnt really moved for the last two weeks. Not happy! But I've noticed I'm smaller, so I'm blaming the scale woes on increased muscle. However, I have a goal. I will be 71 kg on the home scale before Mr PT's measurements. Just because I can be if I try : )

the good, the bad and the not so snug

2006-05-22T17:32:00.000+10:00

The good news: I didnt eat a meat pie, I went to the gym, I ate a healthy lunch on Sunday and I even cleaned out the pantry. hooray!

The bad news: I ate pizza Saturday night. Well technically it wasnt pizza, it was pide. But really, minus a tomato base, pide is pizza. oh but I had to eat it! I made it all by myself. It was the dodgiest pide I've ever seen. It kinda fell apart in the oven. I didnt put enough cheese on (was trying to b healthy) so it was dry, a little bit burnt and the dough was too thick... but it was my pide : ) And it was vegetarian. So I guess it wasnt too bad, but ugh to carbs so late at night.

The rest of my weekend eating was great though. No take away, nothing too naughty. Except for a bite sized caramel round from the cute little bakery where we had our coffee after the gym Sunday morning. A pretty damn good weekend otherwise!

oh oh! And on Sunday I put on a pair of gym pants, a pair that has NO stretch in them. and they were loose! This is fabulous. They used to be quite snug. I have two pairs the same - a size 18 and a size 16. When I bought them, the 18s were a little loose but the 16s were snug. The 18's can not be worn anymore and I'm proud to say that the 16s are heading that way : )

A regular customer at the restaurant (who, truth be told, I despise!) noticed I have lost weight and was actually really nice about it. I was feeling great Saturday night. I had a few customers tell me I was looking good (I think this was mainly due to my hair, I wore it in a very preppy half up, instead of a messy bun) and had one guy giving me the eye. I really liked Saturday night. haha.

Its almost home time and I started writing this at 9 am this morning, eesh! bye bye.

goals for the weekend

2006-05-19T10:11:00.000+10:00

do not, under any circumstances eat a meat pie, no matter how appetizing The Boy makes it seem.

go to the gym with The Boy once. He hasnt used his gym membership in over 2 months!

If I have to eat late on Saturday night after my waitressing shift, it shouldnt be pizza! It will be protein and vege. No carbs at midnight!

clean out my pantry. there is nothing naughty in there, except for some white rice and pasta - haha! but its just a big mess and I keep buying food I already have. There are at least 10 tins of tuna floating around, but I buy more every time I go for a shop : )

prepare a delicious meal for The Boy and I for our picnic/fishing adventure on Sunday. That way I wont have to go on a hot chip run : )

easy!

carbs and nuts and stuff

2006-05-18T12:53:00.000+10:00

oh its been a while! (and my last post was on a bad note.. doh, I hate doing that!)

All is well in chubba land. Last week was a slacker of a week, no gym, lazy eating. But this week has been much much better : ) I had a cardio session with Mr PT on tuesday night - holy crap sticks! He pushed me hard. My legs were like jelly, my lungs caught fire and my gym clothes were well and truly drenched. it was fabulous!

I have nothing to write! No great sins, no great feats. I'm just coasting along. Which in some ways scares me a little. I dont think I'm pushing myself hard enough. My eating could be better.. its a little too relaxed. Like the 2 tablespoons of white rice I had with my grilled chicken and salad last night. I shouldnt have had it, but it was such a tiny amount I convinced myself it was okay. I noticed the difference in my belly when I was falling asleep.. my belly felt full. The night before when I had no carbs, my belly felt satisfied, but not full.

I also need to buy some more nuts!

so freaking naughty!

2006-05-08T09:53:00.000+10:00

my weekend was so naughty! Friday night I ate pizza and drank a few pimms. Saturday I didnt have lunch, went to work at 6pm and proceeded to eat copious amount of bread and dip between serving customers then at midnight had pide for dinner (which is essentially freaking pizza again!). It gets worse... I ate KFC for lunch on Sunday.

Am I for real?

Bring on structured monday to friday! I've got 5 days to decided how to attack the weekend. I think I've got to stay closer to plan. I pretty much fobbed off the entire plan and went a little crazy. (I didnt over eat though, which is good!) And I can feel it today too.. my belly is in major bloat mode.

poo! I'm a little sad sack today!

oh well.. I've had my healthy breakfast and it almost snack time. I've got my gym back packed. My belly wont feel like this tomorrow : )

yay me!

2006-05-04T09:46:00.000+10:00

my home scale read 72 - 73 kilos this morning! (It will be recorded as 73, just to be on the safe side)

This is mighty impressive since I ate cake on monday, AND on tuesday. Monday I made the decision to eat cake because it was a work friends birthday, but Tuesday.. oops! it was work friends left over birthday cake. I should have said no, but oh well, next time!

Yesterdays eating was angelic to make up for it : ) whole grain cereal, snack of nuts and fruit, zucchini and broccoli soup with a slice of whole grain bread for lunch, cottage cheese on a cracker for a snack, and salmon fillet with leek, tomato and green beans made into a kinda confit. oh, and a few dried apricots as a treat.

Todays eating plan is to be just as angelic! I've been to the gym twice already this week (once with the trainer) and plan to go friday and sunday. friday will be a long cardio workout which I'm actually looking forward to (oh my golly goshkers! whats going on!?!)

I have a second wedding dress fitting on Saturday (for the Turkish wedding). Tonight I'm going to purchase some super dooper underwear. One of those whole dress slimming things just to squish down all the lumps and bumps and give me a smoother silhouette. Trinny and Susanna are big fans : )

I'm shitting myself today - I have to resign! well technically I dont have to resign today, but I'm trying to give them 7 weeks notice instead of the required 4. I'm nice like that : ) When you work in a small company resigning is way too hard! Especially when two other people have also resigned in the last month. ugh! I hope I am not the straw that breaks the camel's back. wish me luck!

its free day!

2006-04-29T15:34:00.000+10:00

But its not 'free to eat crap' day : ) silly ol me ate a meat pie for lunch and boy was it good. Thats enough crap for today. I had a healthy breakfast and I'll be having a healthy dinner, so all is well. I've started waitressing Saturday nights again (which pays for my dates with Mr PT plus some spending money left over) so tonight I'll be running around for a good 6 hours. (take that meat pie!)

My cardio session went well last night. I was definitely pushed harder than I would have pushed myself but not to the point of collapse. I did a 20 minute run/walk, running a little faster than normal, then 10 minutes on the bike, 5 minutes on the elliptical, ab workout then lots of stretching. So really, considering we were there for an hour, not much. I walked home with a beetroot red face and of course, I ran into some people I know!

Through my mum's business I can get wholesale gym clothes. I bought some tres cute yoga pants with matching zip up jackets. A black set and a grey set. The bottoms are size 16, and size 16 jackets - but the jackets are way too big. I'll take them to the laundromat down the road and put them in the super sonic dryer that shrinks everything in sight! (I should know. When I didnt have a washing machine I'd go there every week, and every week I thought I was getting fatter! those damn dryers ruined a lot of my clothes)

I just tried on an old black skirt that I used to wear when waitressing - I havent worn it for maybe, 18 months. I can put it on without unzipping it! It goes straight over my big booty. Yay! I made that skirt when I first started seeing The Boy. (yes, I can sew! and I should start sewing again, so cheap!) It used to fit perfect, but now I can fit both my arms inside when I'm wearing it. ahh.. its the little things..

randomness

2006-04-27T11:06:00.000+10:00

Last night was my back, shoulders, biceps workout with a bit of cardio. And today I'm feeling pleasantly sore. Tonight I've got chest and triceps which I'm looking forward too. (I dont think I can fully express just how much I LOVE having a plan..)

You know how I said that no carbs at night were easy? Well technically they are, but on monday and tuesday night The Boy was bringing home yummy carb loaded food. I couldnt resist a bite or two. But I've made a deal with The Boy - he cant bring home yummy carb loaded food when he finishes work! He was a little too quick to agree with me (damn him! had it really been so obvious that I had eaten too much of his pide on monday?) So last night he ate before he came home and it was fine. I didnt need that sneaky bite of carbs, or fat, or whatever else he was eating. Yesterday was a pretty much perfect day : )

I weighed myself at the gym last night. I seem to have lost some weight since my last weigh-in at the gym. But the gym scales are also dodgy! The digital reading jumps a lot - between 4 kilos yesterday! But all readings were under my previous gym weigh in. So yay me! No official update yet, I'll wait to see what my home scales say.

loving it

2006-04-25T22:08:00.000+10:00

Its been two nights without carbs and I'm really quite enjoying it! Last night I had grilled chicken with spinach salad and a mushroom baked with a little cottage cheese and some well drained sun dried tomato. Tonight, I had grilled eye fillet with a vegetable bake/stack thing I concocted. It was a thick slice of tomato topped with baby spinach, then dry grilled eggplant, dry grilled zucchini and a tbs of low fat tasty cheese, then I did the layering again, topped it with some s+p and popped it in the oven for about 10 minutes. Deliciousness!

I also had wholemeal spaghetti for lunch today. It was officially my first time eating wholemeal pasta which is odd for me considering I try eat unprocessed grains as much as possible - brown rice, wholemeal grain bread, wholemeal crackers, whatever. And I loved it! I'm so annoyed for not trying it sooner.

cutting the carbs!

2006-04-23T11:15:00.000+10:00

Friday night was another date with Mr PT. We worked my chest and triceps. All my strength training works my upper body - a sneaky trick to balance my big booty! The PT is already worth his $65 a week.. thursday night I totally didnt feel like going to the gym because I was meeting a friend for a beer (a beer, thats one beer! dont you worry).. but I went because I knew I had to cross my back and shoulders work out off my list! I made my friend wait and meet me after the gym. The gym was priority before beer!?!

I'm such a child... if I'm accountable to someone, I do it, but if I'm accountable to myself I can easily blow it off and 'do it tomorrow'. I gotta work on that shit. I'm doing this for me, not for Mr PT.

I really happy with my program. I can tell its going to produce results. I like having a plan. Its better than me going to the gym and just doing something willy nilly because I feel like it.

He has given me my eating plan... and yes, my freak out from a few weeks back was spot on - no carbs at night!! Its pretty much a low fat, low GI deal. I'm cool with the food from breakfast to my afternoon snack, its what I pretty much aspire to eat anyways, but dinner.. ugh : ) Its going to take me a while to get used to. I've been going through my cook books trying to find some suitable dinners (no carrot, pumpkin or corn allowed either at night) and its hard! I've been searching 'no carb' recipes online but they all seem to be filled with cream, butter, bacon and four kinds of cheese.. haha! Bring on the kumara (yam) and mashed cauliflower : ) Does anyone have a no carb, low fat recipe that they love? Tell me!

A major plus with the eating plan is that I'm only expected to follow it hardcore monday - friday. On the weekends I can relax a little. Obviously I cant go crazy and eat crap, but it doesnt have to be so structured.

The eating plan is below if anyone is interested!

On other fabulous news, we have booked out flights for Turkey! We are flying out of Sydney on the 6th of July and wont be returning until October 30th! 4 months of travelling and hanging out in The Boy's hometown - a tiny village thats pretty much self sufficient - they grow all their own fruit and veggies, they have fields of wheat that they have processed and have their own flour, they make their own dehydrated soup by laying it on sheets of fabric in the sun! Paradise. Thats some good healthy eating!

Eating Plan

2006-04-23T11:06:00.000+10:00

8 am breakfast
water
multi-vitamin

1 bowl cereal, skim milk
OR
Omlette, 2 -3 egg whites, onion, shallots, mushroom, capsicum, tomato etc.
1/2 - 1 piece low GI fruit (apple, pear etc)
1/3 cup low fat/GI yoghurt

10 am snack
1 fruit, handful unsalted nuts (almonds, walnuts, peanuts, linseed)
OR
mountain breads with chicken breast/tuna with low fat cottage cheese, onion tomato, lettuce etc. Optional sauce or low fat mayo.
OR
1 fruit and low fat/GI yoghurt

1 pm lunch
wholegrains or legumes (all low GI options. eg. basmati rice, pasta vermicelli, wholegrain pasta, cous cous, soya beans, lentils, kidney beans, lima beans, split peas, chick peas, black eyed peas etc)
with lean protein and veggies.

4:30 pm snack
Protein bar
OR
2 hardboiled egg whites and 3 almonds
OR
crispbread with low fat cottage cheese, protein and vegetable source

7:30 pm dinner
Lean cut of protein and veggies (no potato, carrot, corn, pumpkin etc)
OR
Lean cut protein and salad

I've got a terrible case of tuedayitis!

2006-04-18T15:56:00.000+10:00

Back to bloody work : )

My long long weekend was fabulous! I spent Friday doing not much - washing, cleaning, getting all the chores out of the way. Saturday morning we got up early and ventured to Palm Beach. The guesthouse was gorgeous (you can look here). We hiked up to the top of Barrenjoey Lighthouse (killer workout! my lungs were on fire!) On the way back down I stacked it big time.. I rolled down rocks, grabbing onto various young trees for support, but alas, it was too late. My rolling finally stopped when I slammed into a bank of dirt : ) Needless to say, I'm a little sore and I'm pretty sure one of my toes are broken.. but I didnt let that stop me from enjoying my weekend!

We had dinner at the guesthouse.. we usually share our meals by swapping our plates half way through (whats everyones opinion on this? I dont think its the norm, but does anyone out there find it rude?) so for starters we had a prawn and scallop salad with mango puree and a mushroom bruschetta (best mushroom bruschetta ever!). For mains we had a grilled seafood plate - prawns, salmon, balmain bugs and calamari (which was deep fried, not grilled, bastards!) and eye fillet with spinach, potato, kumara and red wine sauce.

Dessert was a doozy! We ordered a chocolate souffle and some berry thing (I forget the name!). The waiter bought over the berry thing and a pear tart. What happened to the souffle?! She wasnt sure but informed us the souffle would take another 15 minutes if we wanted it, so we said forget it and just ate what she gave us. As we were finishing our desserts, along came the waiter with the souffle! Apparently there was some mix up and we ended up with three desserts. My dream.. my nightmare : ) I showed some restraint and only had a taste of the souffle.

We went fishing, lazed about in the sun, ate breakfast in bed.. it was just delightful!

I didnt go to the gym over the weekend, and wont be going tonight (have a big deadline.. ugh!) but I'll be back there on wednesday with bells on. I also havent weighed myself because its almost TOM. But the skirt I'm wearing right now seems to be sitting a little lower than normal! Love it!

I love a long, long weekend!

2006-04-14T08:03:00.000+10:00

The Boy and I fell asleep on the couch last night, in spooning position, and oh my gosh, my whole body is aching.. not good! I think I've done something to my knee too. It got stuck in such an awkward position that when I woke up and went to move it, a sharp pain shot through my leg. eesh! only 23 and cant hack a night on the couch.. I need my firm bed, and my special contoured pillow : )

Mr PT and I had a date last night.. I was nervous, again, but it was easy.. we spent the hour weight training, mainly working on my technique. The weights were light, but I learnt a lot.

A handy tip that he told me: Do your weight training before your cardio! I always do my cardio first then weights, but nope. Apparently its more beneficial to weight train and use all your glucose stores, so when you get on the treadmill your body is ready to start burning the fat. Makes perfect sense.

I get my eating plan next week. I'm a self confessed foodie. The Boy and I love our growing collection of recipe books and magazines. I love cooking and trying new foods, so I'm a little concerned about what Mr PT has install for me. I hope there is room for a little creativity!

Tomorrow we're off for a little romantic getaway. The guest house stay includes a three course meal and drinks so no doubt I'll be a little naughty Saturday night, but I'm planning on being extra cautious the rest of the weekend.

Have a happy easter everyone!

first session with Mr PT

2006-04-08T17:57:00.000+10:00

phew! my personal training session went fine! We actually didnt train at all. He spent an hour measuring my fat, grabbing my fat, feeling my bones and muscles under my fat and talking about my fat. He was very thorough! But I like him a lot! He is the first person who has fully explained to me why I get back pain (crazy back pain that turns into a pain that runs from my temple down to my toes on the right side of my body) He told me to go back to the chiropractor (conveniently, his wife is a chiro - should I be suss?)

He was impressed with my hamstrings! I've got killer hamstring flexibility - a few professionals have mentioned this. I suspect this comes from the years of dancing I did as a youngster because the only good stretch they get these days is in the bed with The Boy : )

So Mr PT has sent me away with a food diary to fill in over the next 5 days before I see him again. Its quite amazing how paranoid you get about the food youre eating when you know someone is going to analyse it!

When I see him again, he'll have a program worked out for me and we'll be good to go! I'm very glad I didnt cancel on him : )

personal training freak out

2006-04-07T16:44:00.000+10:00

Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. Why, why!?! He is a personal trainer, his job is to train. Train people like me. I have nothing to be afraid of.

I think I'm secretly afraid that he is going to turn my world upside down and get me to do things I'm not comfortable with - like, not eating carbs after 4pm. I dont believe in that shit. Or maybe that he will have me work on the bloody elliptical machine for 30 minutes straight... bor-ring!

I'm afraid of changing what I do. I have a system, but my system isnt working so good. But I like my system!

I'm going to stop writing because I can feel this turning into some sort of Dr Phil moment and I so couldnt be bothered : )

Im a very silly girl...

2006-04-04T21:16:00.000+10:00

So last week when I spoke to the personal trainer, I made an appointment with him even though I hadnt fully decided if I'd go through with it. After I thought about the money I had every intention of cancelling my appointment.. but I didnt. I totally forgot! I got a phone call from him tonight - he was waiting for me at the gym. I was on the bus. And boy did I feel horrible! Horrible enough not to tell him that I dont want a personal trainer. Horrible enough to reschedule for Friday night. eeep!

Apparently, I now have a personal trainer : )

And you know what this means, I have to butt out the cigarette thats currently in my hand. Is this some sort of twisted fate?

I went to the gym this morning before work and had enough time to go home to get changed. Its so good when knock off time rolls around and you know you can go straight home. No lugging a gym bag on the bus. I am going to go again tomorrow morning! Its in writing!

For the past two days my eating has been a little heavy. I havent eaten anything 'bad', its all been nutritious, just a little too much of it. Like the baked potato with beans last night, too many carbs man!

vegie patch

2006-04-03T09:06:00.000+10:00

morning!

I'm officially changing that side bar to 74kg : )

I've had a pretty busy week and havent had much of a chance to update. I've been pretty good, besides the cheeseburger meal and some drinking on friday night!

Yesterday the boy and I replanted our herb garden! And I planted a cherry tomato plant and sowed some silverbeet and carrots. I'm so excited! I spent the rest of the day 'casually' poking my head out into the courtyard to see how my little babies were growing. (Unfortunately, I realised that our crop wont be ready until we are about to go overseas, ha! oh well, looks like my Mum will be enjoying my silverbeet.) It may sound odd, but whenever I do totally domestic stuff like this, it always makes me want a baby.. hmm..

I've got pump class tonight and I'm going to be there! (last monday I had to run to the doctors before class, and by the time I got to the gym it was 6:25pm and they had already started the 6:30 class, bastards!)

And oh, update on the personal trainer.. he is just way too expensive. Technically we can afford it, but I dont think I can justify it when we are trying to save to go traveling. Perhaps I can find someone cheaper... (perhaps I should stop smoking and tah-da! there is the personal trainer money! ugh, I'm hopeless!)

And thanks Debbie, for dropping by and saying hi!

4:30 pm pump?

2006-03-27T10:29:00.000+11:00

the 4:30pm pump class doesnt exist! The gym's website is outdated. But it didnt matter. I did a 30 minute run/walk and 15 mins on the upright bike - 350 cals burnt and I was drenched in sweat. I fixed my stitch problem by doing shorter run/walk intervals. My leg muscles have been pleasurably sore : )

I also weighed myself at the gym. A while ago I mentioned that the gym scale was about 5 kilos higher than my home scales.. well according to the gym scale I had lost 1.5 kilos since I last weighed about a month ago. I went home and weighed on my scales - it said 73.5 kilos. Yes indeed thats 1.5 kilos down from my last weigh. I weighed again this morning and it said 74 kg. Very interesting! I likey what I see. I'll wait until friday before I change anything on the side bar (friday is the new official weigh day)

The rest of the weekend went okay - I over ate a little yesterday, but I've got pump class tonight so it should even out.

Sitting in my purse is the business card of a personal trainer I've been recommended. I'm so bloody scared to call him... and am I sure I really want to send the money on this? I only want him to ensure I go to the gym and to give me a little extra guidance. But surely thats a valid reason? In fact, its probably a very good reason. I wish I had a gym buddy. Why are none of my local friends into working out?

Okay, maybe I should just call this dude!

I did it!

2006-03-25T15:02:00.000+11:00

I got my booty back into the gym.. and boy was it tough! I ended up getting a killer stitch whilst walk/running for only 15 mins and couldnt shake it.. in fact it got worse when I was walking.. so I hopped on the bike for 20 mins (the bike is so boring!) then decided to do 20 mins of weights. Besides the stitch, the run was actually pretty good, I felt light and was getting into a great stride.. damn it!

Food was pretty good yesterday, except for when the boy came home with a diced lamb pide. I had a slice with a bit of cacik. I still kept within my daily allowance, but it would have been nice not to have it : )

I had a gorgeous breakfast of spinach and eggs. Its the best breakfast (lunch/dinner/snack) ever! Spray non stick fry pan, saute half a diced onion, add a whole bunch of chopped and washed english spinach, salt and pepper, let it wilt and wait for the juices to evaporate, then crack 3 - 4 eggs on top (this is enough for two people), put on the lid and let the eggs cook over a low heat - eat it straight out of the fry pan with bread or without. (oh lookie! I've found a picture/recipe of something very similar.. without the spinach. Actually, this website rocks for turkish food - The Boy is very impressed.)

I've spent a good part of today cleaning.. got to love the workout when scrubbing the bathroom! And I'm going to the 4:30 pump class this afternoon.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit a friend for lunch.. the friend who has lost 6 kilos. I think we are going to a beer garden to eat... I'm hoping they have something suitable on the menu, and I'm going to limit myself to one beer. Which is pretty easy these days. I used to love beer and could drink it all night long. I still love a coldie, but lately I find after 2 beers, I just cant drink anymore. I'm bloated and full and the beer loses its freshness. This, I guess, is a good thing.

only 8 more hours 'til the weekend!

2006-03-24T09:38:00.000+11:00

Yesterday turned out pretty good. I stuck to my plan, although in class last night I did indulge in a slither (cough) of Turkish Orange cake - made with oranges, almond meal and sugar. I'm a sucker for foods I've never tried before, I had to have a taste. I didnt touch the muffins, because I know what blueberry, or chocolate or whatever muffins taste like. Its logical : )

I've always loved tasting new foods - I'll eat anything once : ) One time some friends and I were at a steamboat restaurant and we accidently ordered beef spinal cord. We ate it. And it was actually pretty good.. like a chewy noodle. But then again, you can drop anything into that spicy broth and its gonna come out tasting delicious!

My new favourite condiment - yoghurt with a little wholegrain mustard and chives. I had it with my chicken breast last night. 1 tbs is around 25 calories and has about half a gram of fat (depending on what yoghurt you use) Its also tasty on potatoes.

Oh and an update on my diet coke addiction - I'm cured! I have had a total of two diet drinks since the beginning of february. The upside, my emotions are a lot more stable, no more headaches, no wacky feeling ('the wacky feeling' is hard to explain.. but I always felt it after too much diet coke..) The down side is, that I've been drinking full strength coke a fair bit more, but I'm working on that.

I'm really looking forward to the gym tonight! I've got an hour of cardio planned followed by some upper body work. Then I have the pleasure of going home and cleaning the apartment. (Since The Boy is working a second job its only fair that I become head cleaning lady...) yay for exciting friday nights!!

push

2006-03-23T13:48:00.000+11:00

I'm so full of bullshit! I havent gone to the gym yet, and I havent been counting calories, but a few things have happened in the last 24 hours that have inspired me to open up the old faithful calorie counter and schedule in a walk tonight (no gym, I've got turkish class)

number one: yesterday afternoon I went to visit a dress maker about my wedding dress for Turkey. (3.5 months away!) This is enough to get any girl thinking about their big fat bum again : ) And whilst I dont need to be too worried (its a muslim wedding after all - there wont be much flabby flesh on display) it started me thinking..

then, number two, I spoke with a friend of mine who has lost 6 kilos. This girl is the queen of junk! you dont even know! She was never fat during school, but had piled on over 20 kilos in the last few years. Over the last few months she has been going to the gym religiously, I'm not too sure about the eating... I'm sure she has changed things a little, but in my twenty minute phone call to her she mentioned chips, the skin of roast chicken, and take away.. god bless her soul : ) So yeah, exercise, good old fashion exercise. I love doing it and I love how I feel after doing it, so why has the couch been calling my name these last two weeks? I've lost my gym buddy - The Boy is working nights again. So this has contributed. But golly gosh, I'm a big girl and can go with out him! Friday. Gym. Locked in.

and the final push - this girl. I've only just discovered her blogging goodness, but she bought a smile to my face this morning, and out came the calorie counter. I want to feel a sense of achievement, I miss that feeling.

I dont want you all to think I'm being a sloth, sitting on the couch eating buckets of fried chicken.. really, I'm not. I'm just not pushing myself.

I've planned the rest of my meals and snacks for the day, 1300 calories - perfect. Plus a brisk walk home from class - 100 cals burnt. A net total of 1200 calories. Wonderful.

80%

2006-03-16T09:05:00.000+11:00

where have I been? I dont know : ) I just couldnt think of anything to write lately.. I havent been very good, but I certainly havent been very bad. Since my sisters wedding, I havent been counting my calories, or religiously taking my lunch to work, but I've been alright. I've been going to the gym a few times a week, and trying to be active, 80% of the time my food is fabulously healthy but I recall a few hot chips and cans of coke over the last few weeks. I dont think I've gained any weight and I dont think I've lost any weight. Story of my life.. ha!

I think part of this has stemmed from me smoking again. Yes, dont look at me that way! I know its stupid.. I know. And I believe that smoking equals sloth. The house has been messier, my bank account has been smaller and I wake up feeling like crap. I'm putting poison in my body... but I'm not ready to stop again.. give me some time...

On a more positive note... The Boy got his residency! Which means we are now free! He can change his job, we can travel easily and we are secure in knowing he wont be deported. This, my friend, is the most wonderful feeling!

I'm busy tonight with Turkish class, and tomorrow night with Residency Celebration Drinks, but on Saturday I'll be at the gym nice and early. I havent been once this week! And I am getting itchy for a good work out!

I'm going to set up a session with a personal trainer to get some direction with my workouts. I need a little boost.

Thank you Luds and anon for wondering where I was.. so sweet... you both inspired me to post again : ) thanks!

I ran out of time to post this yesterday;

2006-02-21T08:51:00.000+11:00

I can feel every muscle in my upper body moving. I've got some great muscle ouch - not enough ouch to think I over did it.. just enough to know I worked out hard : )

Yesterday was active.. really bloody active! We went to the gym, I ran for about 20 mins, then did weights, then we walked down to check out a free festival not far from our house, then we walked to the stadium to watch the soccer (its growing on me.. I actually stood up out of my seat when something exciting happened.. haha!) We walked for at least 1.5 hours.. and boy can I feel all that activity today! We were talking about going to the gym for pump class tonight.. but I think tonight might be rest night : )

Something a little tragic happened at the gym. I weighed myself. I know my home scales are dodgy k-mart brand.. but oh my gosh.. they are 4 kilos lighter than the gym scales. If the gym scales are right.. I suddenly became obese again.. ha! I've mulled over this scale dilemma for quite some time now, and I simply am not going to care. I'm not going to care about a number. Just as long as whatever the number is, its getting smaller.

Its been over a week since I have had a diet coke. I havent cried, I havent yelled, I havent been a big poo to The Boy. I've been happy and energetic.. and its the week before my periods.. ha! who would have thought! I'm convinced fake sugar is the work of the devil : )

I am very confused about what to drink though. I like the bubbles! And all bubbles have sugar or fake sugar. Except for mineral water... and there is only so much mineral water a girl can drink.

I suck : )

2006-02-13T17:19:00.000+11:00

eesh.. this last week and a bit has been crazy! I've been working like a mo fo - one night I finished work at 3:30 am (yes.. AM!), I've been traveling over 4 hours to have final dress fittings for my sisters wedding, I've drunk copious amounts of alcohol at her hen's night, I've been to turkish class, I've been stuck in front of a computer for more hours than I care to remember, and somewhere in all of that I havent been to the gym : ) or even tracked my eating.

oh so naughty! but its a new week and I'm about to finish work and make my way to the gym. So all will be redeemed!

Also, since Friday evening, I have not consumed any diet drinks and will avoid them like the plague. Its all because of this. (yes, I know it sounds a little 'conspiracy theory' but if you do a google search, you'll come across lots more info that backs it up) I've always heard bad things about artificial sweeteners but now I'm convinced. I dont talk about it here, but I've been having crazy mood swings, feeling really down for no reason at all, crying like crazy, lots of headaches, weird heart feelings (maybe I should have gone to the doctor? ha!) And I'm convinced my Diet Coke addiction has something to do with it. So I'm doing as one of the anti-aspartame websites suggested 'Take the 60 day aspartame test. Give up aspartame for 60 days and note the improvements in you health.' So thats it.. no more Diet Coke for 60 days.. and I'm going to see what happens.

So yeah, I'm still 75 kgs (that 74 I saw didnt last long! bastard)

Oh, and The Biggest Loser (Australian version) starts tonight! I'm so excited!! I'm very interested to see how it all works - its on every week night, as compared to the American version that aired once a week.

Stuck at my desk!

2006-02-04T13:04:00.000+11:00

Its around 1pm on a Saturday and I'm at work. Ugh! We have a huge pitch early next week and I have to complete the presentation. yay for me!

I've been a very busy bee all week. Wednesday we were meant to go to the gym - but The Boy forgot my pants! I was in the change room when I discovered I was pant-less : ) Its very embarrassing to have to get unchanged again and walk out of the gym without having done a work out : )

So, I've done 2 workouts this week.. and there is a very high chance I wont work out tomorrow - gym opens at 10 am and closes at 6 pm - I have plans during those hours. I'll try do a walk when I get home.

Although the workouts haven't been as frequent as they should be, I have some exciting news! I have weighed myself for the past two days and its said 74 kg! I have really been trying to keep my cal consumption on the lower end of my allowance, and I think thats made all the difference. I've been aiming for around 1300 cals.. so its going good.

Thursday night I started my Turkish language course.. merhaba everyone : ) It was rather freaky.. out of the 20 people in the class, there would have been about 15 Australians girls who were learning Turkish cos their Boy was a Turk! I thought I was going to be the only one : )

I should do some work.. damn pitch!

weekly review

2006-01-31T10:46:00.000+11:00

(its late, again, I know!)

I went to that wedding with a plan... only eat half of everything! It was a brilliant plan and I actually kept to it. I was still totally stuffed by the time dessert came around, but I made The Boy dance with me, so I hope I burnt some off. I actually cant believe I made him dance.. because I DONT DANCE. Really. I dance at home by myself, or for The Boy (I like to 'interpretive' dance for him.. he generally just ignores my 'jazz hands') but I do not dance in public. But I HAD to dance. I couldnt sit at that table any longer.. I could feel the food in my belly and had to get up and move around to make the feeling go away. But we had fun.. I had some Turks trying to teach me to belly dance.. I sucked and was totally jealous of this plump little 9 year old girl who was shaking her hips around like a high class stripper - she was disturbingly sexy.

On with the results

- track calories/fat daily
5.5/7 days : ) I was the tracking queen until dinner time on saturday, then I didnt track all sunday

- stay within my limits (1200-1500 cals/40-60 fat)
3/7 days - eesh!

- drink 8 glasses of water daily
5/7 days.. nice!

- eat 2 fruits daily
4/7 days.. getting better. I feel like I've been eating tonnes of fruit!

- eat 4 vegetables daily
6/7 days

- eat dairy daily (which I forgot to put in the side bar.. doh!)
6/7 days

- eat seafood twice a week
2/2 done and done!

- go to the gym 3 times a week
2/3 days. I will improve this this week! (But I still went one more time than the previous weeks!)

- do something active every day
7/7 days.. yay!

I didnt lose any weight this week. Still 75 kg. So that brings January's loss to a grand total of one kilo.. hooray! (note the sarcasm) I'm going for a big loss this week! I've penciled in (and already completed one of) my gym dates, we did the grocery shopping last night and its all super healthy and mainly fruits and vegetables.. and I bought low fat yoghurt : ) And I'm going to stick to my calorie range! In fact, I want to be closer to the bottom end of my range all week to see some results!

Hope youre all having fun!

Wedding related calories!

2006-01-28T15:14:00.000+11:00

Up until now, this week has been relatively smooth.. sure, there was australia day, but we hosted the bbq and made sure it was healthy (although I did manage to go over by 300 cals.. hmm..) And there was a birthday at work (I am refusing cake next time.. I am going to tell them I am allergic.. ha! I once worked with a man at a cafe who refused to make milkshakes on the grounds that he was allergic to icecream. Really, it was just a plain in the ass to make them... but it never clicked to the other workers that you dont even touch the icecream when making a milkshake, so how could he get a reaction?). Its all be pretty easy, up until now.

I am about to get dressed and go to a wedding. Weddings are all about the food. Weddings are about rich extravagant food. (although it is a Turk paying for the wedding.. so perhaps not! ho ho!*) I am scared. I am going to try my best to eat well, but I know that no matter how well I try to eat, even the crudités will be laced with extra calories. Pray for me! I will just have to work out extra hard tomorrow.

And speaking of tomorrow, its my sisters bridal shower. More food, more alcohol!

Time is running out and I have to get dressed!

*Please dont call me racist or mean. I am married to a Turk, I know : )

finally...

2006-01-27T22:24:00.000+11:00

I dont think i've ever mentioned this, but I'm actually a graphic designer. I dont think I mentioned it because, well frankly I was rather embarrassed to be calling myself a designer when I had a standard blogger template named tic tac : ) And whilst my new layout wont be winning any awards, it certainly is nice to see something I created one boring friday night.

Please let me know if it doesnt look right for you.

I'll write about my fat tomorrow, my powerbook is gonna die! night kiddies!

so, you thought this was a weight loss blog..

2006-01-25T12:24:00.000+11:00

You may have noticed some changes in my side bars. I'm being very naughty at work : )

I've put up the plan that I'm trying to live by

And I've also put up my goal weight and all my mini goals to achieve along the way. My first goal was to be 'overweight' rather than 'obese'. I went through my archives to find out when this happened. I was in August last year when I reached 75 kg.

75 kg last August. That was 5 months ago. I am 75 kg now! 5 months of skipping around 74 - 76 kilos. I haven't been losing weight.. thats maintaining weight. I could be at goal right now. Could. Should.

I'm going to take my measurements tonight to see if my body has changed shape since then. I pray there is at least a little difference, otherwise I'm gonna be mighty annoyed at the last 5 months : )

But surely I have made some new habits.. am I eating better? am I exercising more? do I think differently about food? I need some sign of improvement!

The importance of checking labels..

2006-01-25T11:11:00.000+11:00

For the last 2 weeks I have been consuming copious amounts of yoghurt. The Boy and I buy the biggest tubs in the supermarket and eat it within a week. We have been making cacik (Turkish garlic and yoghurt sauce) every second night, I've been putting scoops of it into my muesli or having a small bowl of it and drizzling some honey on top - we have been yoghur-holics!

But I have discovered something horrible! The brand we have bought for the last two weeks happens to have FOUR TIMES the fat as most yoghurts!!

There are just some products I refuse to buy as low fat - yoghurt being one of them. My calorie counter records generic full fat natural yoghurts as having 5 gms of fat per 200 gms but my favourite yoghurt of late has 20 gms. I had been using the generic stats.. silly silly me! One must take the time to read the nutritional panel : )

Next week, there will be a new yoghurt brand in the fridge, but I will miss my extra fatty yoghurt.. it was so tasty. It was so thick.. the garlic would just melt into it. It would coat every grain of rice and was heaven dolloped on a grilled sweet chilli.. aaahh extra fatty yoghurt...

I will hold a one minute silence for him : )

the week in review

2006-01-24T16:59:00.000+11:00

I'm a day late in my review, but whatever : )

It turns out, that I didnt track on friday! I remember being very busy friday but naughty naughty me. I can remember I had pasta for lunch, but thats about it.

Looking back, I wasnt as diligent as I should have been...

- track everything I put in my mouth
kinda : ) I tracked 6/7 days. And stayed under my limits 4/6 days..

- drink eight glasses of water everyday
minimum of 4/7 days

- eat a min of 2 fruit a day
minimum of 4/7 (getting better!)

- eat a min of 4 vege a day
minimum of 5/7

- eat dairy every day
minimum of 6/7 days

- eat seafood twice a week
1/2 - I forgot about this one and made a tuna salad on Sunday night.. hehe!

- go to the gym at least twice!
1/2

- do something active everyday
5/7 days

------------------------------------

I have been sitting here for a little while reviewing my efforts. At first, I was really pissed off... but in reality, besides saturday's craziness, I either improved or maintained my goals. And it was the week before my periods, so really... yay for me!

This week I'm focusing on exercise and water - they are two areas that need to be perfect. The Boy and I have been slackers about the gym! Friday, he had plans. Saturday we didnt even consider it. Sunday, it was too hot. Yesterday, he forgot my shoes and bought me a damp t-shirt to wear!! I have learnt from this! I have laid out my gym clothes on the bed, all he has to do is put them in his bag on his way to meet me! Silly silly boys.

I am upping my gym goal to 3 times this week. yes, it may be crazy considering I've been twice in the past two weeks, but I'm aiming high!

My name is Chubba. I am going to the gym 3 times this week. I will lose 1kg and be back to 74kg, my lowest weight so far. I will drink a minimum of 8 glasses of water every day. I will improve on all my goals.

I am testing a theory found at Fat Fighter Blogs! Lets hope it works!

the duff

2006-01-22T21:44:00.000+11:00

When I quit smoking, I knew that if I made three weeks I could make it for life... and well, guess who has officially broke the 21 day mark? Oh thats right.. I, sir, am a non-smoker. The boy said we should each take $100 from the money we have saved by not smoking and buy something special. I believe thats called a reward system! I have no idea what to buy.. ha! I guess some new workout clothes would be handy - its not really special, but no smoking and working out kind of go hand in hand.

Lets talk about yesterday. Bloody yesterday. Breakfast started off a little indulgent - eggs florentine with the hollandaise on the side. We then walked to the Aquarium (30 - 40 mins) and walked around the aquarium for over 2 hours (which was amazing!) so I figured I had burnt off most of that hollandaise and all was good in the world. But then I had a burger for lunch, and some bbq for dinner, met up with friends, ate sweet potato chips, had four glasses of wine and ended up at kfc. Ugh!

I've made up for it today though. Lots of fruit and good stuff. Made a super dooper tuna salad for dinner.

I should be weighing myself tomorrow, but I've got major bloat so I'm going to wait until next week. Actually, I lie. Chances are I will weigh myself, but will only consider it officially if I've lost.. any other result is bloat, duh : )

I went out with The Girls last night (The Girls are four girls I went to college with.. we all studied design) and boy did I feel like the old married maid! They are all gorgeous and single and having fun (grass is greener?), they had guys checking them out and yadda yadda - whilst I was the DUFF - Designated Ugly Fat Friend. I forget which horrible teen movie introduced me to the word DUFF, but its been burned into my mind.. I have always had really attractive friends and I've always been the duff. (oh, and by the way, I dont consider myself ugly, just the fat part, unfortunately a lot of people think fat = ugly) With no disrespect to my beautiful husband boy who thinks I'm gorgeous, I'd really like another boy to check me out, give me the eye before he notices the big rock on my finger. Its so silly to care what random males think of me, but god damn it, I'm a libran and vain!

today and yesterday

2006-01-20T15:06:00.000+11:00

I wrote this yesterday, but didnt have a chance to post it...

oh the gym was so hard last night! I tried to run, I truly did, but my legs felt like dead weights. I really wanted to - my head was wanting to run, but my legs just couldnt move. So after 20 mins of half assed run/walking i turned the treadmill off and weight trained instead. Many people have told me they hate to weight train, that its boring, oh but I love it. I feel like a bad ass when I weight train. I feel like Uma in Kill Bill, or the hookers in Sin City.

There have been too many treats at work this week. My boss keeps buying donuts. The receptionist keeps buying cute little sweets - like freddo frogs, or kinder 'happy hippos' - who am I to refuse a happy hippo!? And worse still, I cant find any nutritional info for happy hippos : ) (I thought it was illegal not to print the info on the packaging?) oh look, I found some info on the happy hippo (and some disturbing photography!) 8 grams of fat! crap stixs. Thats one fat little hippo!

But to make up for such work time naughtiness, I've been very good today! It's just after lunch and I've had fruit, dairy, 4 serves of veggies, whole grains and the only thing for me to have for an afternoon snack is strawberries. And I've had over half of my water for the day. I'm such a good kid sometimes : )
......

Now its today!

My food ended up being perfect yesterday. All my daily goals were achieved for 1200 calories (I aim between 1200 - 1500 calories per day, preferably not over 1400!)

I even had a little breakthrough yesterday. Towards the end of work, I was feeling hungry so I ate my strawberries, but when I finished work, I was still feeling hungry and knew I wasnt going to last until dinner. So before I caught the train I went on a little walk to find something small to eat. I really wanted something deep dried or roasted - like a roast potato, or a chicken tenderloin so I headed in the direction of the chicken shop.. I walked in.. and walked straight out! I looked at the potatoes and the deep fried delicacies sitting in the window and thought yuck, I'm not putting that crap in my body. It wasnt about the calories, because I could have 'afforded' it. It was about the quality of the calories : ) In the end I went to the supermarket and bought a little portion controlled fetta and crackers. (I started to crave tuna, but figured you cant really eat a can of tuna standing at the train station!) I felt really responsible and in control. This, my friend, is a good sign.

Weekly review

2006-01-16T09:42:00.000+11:00

1kg gone! yay! I weighed in at 75 kg this morning which has made me very happy indeed. My plan seems to be working.. ho ho ho.

And for my weekly goals? Well I went a fair bit better this week, but still not close enough!

- track everything I put in my mouth
yes, and I stayed within my calorie range 6/7 days! (saturday was a little naughty - had pizza!)

- drink eight glasses of water everyday
4/7 days.. getting better. And if I didnt make it to 8 glasses, I was pretty damn close, with 6 or 7 glasses : )

- eat a min of 2 fruit a day
3/7 days which is 3 days better than last week!

- eat a min of 4 vege a day
5/7 - same as last week

- eat dairy every day
6/7 days

- eat seafood twice a week
2/2 - but it was prawns both times. This week I want some fillets of fish

- go to the gym at least twice!
1/2 I went yesterday for the first time in forever! And I am so sore today. But it was amazing! And now that I haven't smoked for over two weeks, everything is so much easier to do. I hadnt ran for over a month, but ran yesterday at the same intensity I was doing before.. and I think this was because my lungs could handle it, ya know? I'm just automatically fitter!

- do something active everyday
Every day I either went for a walk or had a little rumble in the sack (which I'm counting as 'active'!) except for one day where I came home tired and grumpy, so we got a dvd and I made pita bread pizza : )

Overall, I'm pretty damn impressed this week. Even if I didnt reach all of my goals, I've really made an effort all week. The Boy and I have gym dates planned for the rest of the week - wednesday, friday and sunday. If we go to them all, I will be very happy. Having him as a gym partner isnt the smartest idea in the world. We are both very good at being lazy, and he isnt going to push me to go to the gym, and if he doesnt want to go to the gym, I'm not going to push him : ) However, when we finally make it to the gym, he is excellent at pushing me. Not for cardio, but for weights. He used to have a personal trainer, so he knows how to do everything properly and I think he secretly enjoys making me work and having control over me! Which is hilarious.

I made a batch of Bircher Muesli for the next few days. I had it for breakfast this morning and its so tasty... And its a guaranteed serve of fruit every morning. I soaked some un-toasted muesli and grated apple in apple juice and natural yoghurt over night, then added some extra yoghurt and strawberries this morning. and its oh la la!

This week, I want all my goals to be reached! I know if I'm reaching these goals, then there isnt much room left in my calorie limits to eat junk. And I know I'm going to be really full and satisfied if I'm meeting my fruit and vege goals. And I know that water and exercise is essential for my health.

I can do this : )

The week in review

2006-01-09T17:54:00.000+11:00

9 days smoke free!

Its still hard and its still impacting my attempts at being healthy, but its starting to get easier. I've developed an addiction to Extra Sugar Free Watermelon Drops - so good! But be warned, excess consumption really does have a laxative effect : )

As for my healthy goals this week..? well, I am heading in the right direction, but I'm just not there yet...

- track everything I put in my mouth
yes, eventually. And I think the whole idea of tracking and counting the cals/fat is to ensure you stay 'on track' - that hasnt happened this week. I've just been recording everything and not really caring too much what the final figures say : )

- drink eight glasses of water everyday
2/7 Only made it to eight glasses on two days. I will improve this for next week.

- eat a min of 2 fruit a day
1/7 Only did this on one day! crap stix. This will be much easier this week when I'm back at work. Fruit is easy to eat at work.

- eat a min of 4 vege a day
5/7 days. And was just short on the other two days. Odd for me - I normally eat lots of vege.

- eat dairy every day
7/7 yay!

- eat seafood twice a week
2/2 Yes! Grilled barramundi for dinner one night and tuna pasta for lunch on day. Easy peasy : )

- go to the gym at least twice!
0/2 doh! But I did go for 2 1 hour walks instead of the gym. So not so bad. This week I really want to go back to the gym.

- do something active everyday
6/7 yep, every day, bar one, I felt like I'd done something active.. mainly walking every where instead of catching the bus.

- and, to be hardcore NO CHOCOLATE OR NORMAL COKE FOR ONE WEEK.
This one I failed : ) But as the week has progressed, my sugar cravings have really settled down and I'm starting to feel normal again - in control of my 'treats'. And that was the overall intention of the goal anyways, so kinda, in a way, I reached this goal.

So this weeks goals are the same as last week - I just want to improve on my results! : ) I'm amending 'track everything I put in my mouth' to 'track everything I put in my mouth and stay within my cal/fat allowances'. Oh, and there wont be a ban on chocolate and coke anymore - I have them under control now.

I didnt lose this week, but I wasnt really expecting to for two reasons. One, I never lose weight the first week back 'being healthy' because its normally an adjustment week and, two, I ate a lot to fill the hole the smokes had left - I'm a little surprised I didnt gain.

I go back to work tomorrow, and although I am hating my job, I'm kinda excited, because healthy eating is easy at work! And because we are trying to save, I have to take my lunch to work everyday. The risk of eating badly during the day is very low.

Ah, and The Boy joined my gym! It will be nice for us to work out together. Well at the same time anyway. He has different goals and the only thing we will do together is a warm up, and occasionally I will join him for some weight training. I'm hoping we will push each other to get to the gym, thats the important part : )

Heres to a good week!

piggy!

2006-01-04T14:19:00.000+11:00

oh my gosh, yesterday was horrific! The night before I had been researching the effectiveness of patches versus quitting cold turkey. Cold turkey came up on top for me, so I thought I'd just do it. So I took the patch off and I've been nicotine free for 36 hours now, and those 36 hours have been hell!

What I ate yesterday -
Tomato and Cheese S/wich
Handful Strawberries
Jam sandwich
4 Squares dark chocolate
1 slice bread with 1 slice Lamb
4 slices of pizza (vegetarian, thin base, less cheese.. at least I was trying a little bit!)
3 turkish kofte with rice, salad and yoghurt
1 chocolate biscuit (friends dropped by with biscuits!)
1 smallest can baked beans, cold
4 squares of dark chocolate

Its so bad, that I can only laugh. I'm considering adding up the calories and fat but a part of me knows just to let it go. Apparently all the nicotine has left my body, and in a few days, all nicotine by products will be gone. The first day without my drug, of course, is going to be bloody hard so I can forgive myself for eating that badly.. but as the days go on, it gets easier, so my eating should be a lot better too.

So today I'm concentrating on fulfilling some of my weekly goals and trying to forget that I once loved a little burning stick. But I cant love a little burning stick that makes me feel like crap, costs too much and will no doubt kill me.

I've 'failed' on my no chocolate/no coke goal, but I'm going to keep working on that goal for the rest of the week. Oh, and I threw out the dark chocolate sitting in my fridge!

the quest for fresh

2006-01-02T10:13:00.000+11:00

happy new year kids!

Its been over three weeks since I last posted.. oopsy! Since then, I've become a Mrs and gained 2 kgs! yay for me! I had our wedding one weekend, the next weekend was christmas, followed by days of family get togethers and bbqs, then there was all the fun and festivities of new years. Yesterday I weighed in at 76 kg. Holy begeebers batman!

I'm not one for New Years Resolutions, but by coincidence my need to get back on track and detox came yesterday. The boy and I put on a nicotine patch, I threw out the few remaining christmas chocolates in the fridge and we went for a swim. The fact that it was 45 degrees in Sydney really helped our efforts : ) I could barely breathe in the heat, let alone smoke and eating was one of the last things on my mind! My goal? To feel fresh and healthy, to have energy and to nurture my body. (fresh is a big one! i'm not quite sure if this feeling of fresh-ness that I desire is actually attainable.. does anyone really feel fresh all the time?)

Yesterday I pulled out my calorie counter from the drawer, and out fell a milky way wrapper - not a good sign! : )

I have some mini goals for the week - the basic of basics to pull me back into line

- track everything I put in my mouth
- drink eight glasses of water everyday
- eat a min of 2 fruit a day
- eat a min of 4 vege a day
- eat dairy every day
- eat seafood twice a week
- go to the gym at least twice!
- do something active everyday
- and, to be hardcore NO CHOCOLATE OR NORMAL COKE FOR ONE WEEK.

I think its going to be a nice way to ease back into it all. I really need to get the sugar out of my system and I'm going cold turkey on the main offenders! Other then that, everything else should be a breeze. (ha!)

I hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday!

No I havent been in a coma..

2005-12-09T13:54:00.000+11:00

just super dooper busy!

The wedding has officially taken over my life. Its next weekend, you know. I've got manicures, pedicures, hair dressers, waxing, ring engravers, ribbon tying, white umbrella shopping and fake tan keeping me very busy.

gym? uh no. eating well? most the time. scale moving? well I saw 73.5 a few days ago after my period, but I saw 74 again this morning. people noticing my ass is smaller? lots! Why now? I dont know. But quite a few people have commented on it these last few days. And the man at the convenience store just called me pretty. yay! he didnt say 'pretty face' he said 'pretty'. There is a huge difference you know.

Yesterday, I revealed to my husband-to-be the sexy knickers I will be wearing under my wedding dress. I slowly started to pull them out of the bag, telling my boy how hot there were and really sexy. He had his eyes fixated on the bag... the knickers were slowly being revealed. THEN BANG! Huge big momma, suck my tummy and hips in, my name is gertie, knickers! He was totally unimpressed, especially when I tried them on, dancing and laughing, but amazed at the sucking power of those little babies. I may still be hovering around 74, but I will have a flat stomach under my dress!

Besides the wedding hoopla, not much has been happening in my life. Too much work, not enough play!

Im going to be a fat bride, and I'm okay with that

2005-11-21T16:40:00.000+11:00

What is with people thinking that just because a girl is getting married, it gives them a right to comment on their weight? Why is a day where a man and woman proclaim their love and commitment to each other, somehow connected with the size of the brides ass? My husband-to-be is fully aware I am fat, he loves me with my fat (not in a fat fetish kind of way, he would love me without the fat too) He doesnt expect me to be skinny on our wedding day, so why the hell does everyone else?

The latest comments have come from a guy around my age who 'waits' with me on the weekends, lets call him Monobrow. I'm cutting a long annoying story short, but Monobrow basically told me I was too fat and I needed to lose weight because I was going to Turkey (wedding 2 is in Turkey). I retaliated with some harsh words about how telling me to lose weight is like me telling him to fix his weedy arms, Fabio-esque hair and that one hell of a mono! He also poked my belly. I punched him. And have only spoken 'business' to him since. This was all because I dipped a one inch square of Turkish bread into some mashed potato.. mind you, he was eating a whole bowl of mashed potato - but according to him, he is allowed to, I'm not. I'm still so angry at Monobrow! I know he is a tosser and have known this from the first time I worked with him, but the world is full of tossers thinking the exact same thing. I wanted to tell him that I go to the gym and have lost 8 kilos but I think its ridiculous for me to have to explain this to him, to justify myself, to let him think his comments were somehow valid because I AM trying to lose weight. My fat is of no concern to him.

The weekend went well, I was really active all weekend but didnt go to the gym, naughty naughty! My eating was great on Saturday, although I think Mono's comments of Saturday night really screwed with my eating on Sunday. I've got my gym bag with me and so far I've had a really healthy day!

and yeah.. the scale still hadnt budged this morning! One more week of that, and I'm counting kjs!

ramble

2005-11-18T10:10:00.000+11:00

ahh crap sticks! I changed my gym workouts around a bit - just pushed them back from the night time, to the next morning, so I was meant to work out this morning, but did I? NO! Nope. The boy was already awake and trying to coax me out of bed. I wasnt budging. It was a bad plan, going to the gym at 6, then going to work until 5:30 then starting my other job at 6 pm and finishing work at 11pm. I ended up going back to sleep and waking up late anyways because my phone (i use my mobile as my alarm) was set on vibrate. And I think I may have left the iron on.

So I have to go tomorrow morning. I need to get my 3 workouts this week! Thats the rules. Especially since I ate deep fried cheese yesterday. Dont ask.

I wish I had kept my old food journals. Back in the day, when I lost weight following weight watchers, i ate so much crap! I remember small sections of the journal.. cocktail frankfurter, white bread and tomato sauce. I think that was a 4 pt snack. Chat potato microwaved with cottage cheese. White bread toast with ham and tomato sauce. 99% fat free 2 minute noodles. Those 'just add milk and water' 97% fat free pasta packets. I cant remember eating fruit. And I was obviously never too concerned about nutrition. I look at my food diary for this week so far, and its actually pretty good. There is fruit, low fat dairy, lean proteins, slow release carbs, and plenty of veggies. Sure, there is the occasional little chocolate or deep fried cheese ball, and I dont deny that I sometimes eat white bread, or just add milk and water to my pasta, but I've come a long way baby.. Sorry.. I've been talking about nutrition and food a lot lately, but its just finally all clicked into place. And I like that.

Thinking about those old food diaries has made me realise that 73 or 74 kilos is the lowest I've ever gotten to when trying to lose weight! This is interesting, very interesting. 74 really is my evil number! If this 74 could be materialised, I'd beat the crap out of it. (Technically it already is materalised as the fat on my ass and I should just beat the crap out of that by exercising.. but I like to imagine a foam puppet in the shape of 74.. like something on sesame street and I'm literally throwing punches at it.)

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I wont be around because of my broken home computer.. but I'll be back on monday with my weigh in and exercise up dates - one work out and one 'activity' to do over the weekend. easy peasy, right?

i got naked

2005-11-16T09:07:00.000+11:00

guess who went to the gym before work this morning because they missed yesterdays work out? thats right kiddies! I actually dragged myself out of bed at 5:30 am, got my crap together and walked to the gym. I was there by 6:15 and I was shocked, shocked by the amount of people there. I thought I would almost have the place to myself, that was one of the main ideas behind the early gym visit! I ended up run/walking 20 mins (in which I ran for 7 mins non stop! thats the longest I've ever done!) then on the bike and a bit of weights to finish off. I feel really good knowing my work out is done for the day. But I would really like a little nap : )

On the downside - I've been up for 3 hours and I only just ate! There was no food in the house and nothing was open on the way to the gym. So I just ate TWO cheese and tomato toasted sandwiches (brown bread, no butter and the stingiest slice of cheese I have ever seen - it could have been worse!) Whats the saying? Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper?

I had a shower at the gym. I got naked. I never get naked in open change rooms. My towel was always strategically placed, but I was pretty damn naked : ) Strangely enough, for my birthday recently, my friends bought me a voucher to a day spa in Kings Cross where you have to be naked.. all the time. And the voucher includes a massage near the pool.. I get to be massaged, naked, in front of all the other naked people. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a prude, I'm quite open about a lot of things, but I'm freaking out! I dont even know if I were skinny, would I want to do this? Perhaps it will be liberating.. perhaps I'll have to get a bikini wax! I have a year to use the voucher.. perhaps its a goal reward? (Although I think its probably counteractive to make your reward something you are shit scared of... not very motivating!)

And thanks for the comments girly girls! They made my morning : )

in the zone baby

2005-11-15T10:18:00.000+11:00

So much for the tonne of posting I promised last week! For some reason my home internet is not working, and the kind folks at my isp cant seem to help me because I have a mac. ugh! I started a million posts last week, but work has been super busy and gobbled up all my time.

Last week, I put in maybe a 60% effort - meaning I was a good girl just over half the time. Of course, that wasnt enough to break 74 kgs. But its because I didnt exercise, and I know this. I know I cant lose a decent amount of weight just by watching what I eat. And its so much harder to watch what you eat when you are being a lazy slob anyways. Going to the gym encourages a healthier lifestyle that flows through to my food. I dont eat all that badly (80% of the time, the other 20% of the time I am eating chocolate) I try to ensure its fresh and healthy, with the least amount of processing as possible.. but when I exercise, eating healthily becomes so much easier.

I'm back using my food diary. I'm not counting kjs. I know approx how much I should eat each day. If I'm not losing weight, I will review this decision, but I'm pretty sure I will be fine. As long as I exercise!

This week I've locked in Monday (done!), Tuesday and Thursday for the gym. Just 30 - 45 min workouts. And I've also promised to walk home from the city on wednesday (which is an easy, but pretty long walk that I do once or twice a week anyways) and do something active on the weekend. Something with The Boy - maybe go to the beach, or the pool, go for a walk, just something active.

Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned the girl at work telling me I had to get fit for my wedding.. well I just had a talk to her about the gym etc and told her how I had already lost 8kg - I feel so much better knowing that I have set her straight! ha! Her boyfriend is a body builder and has got her on some low carb, high fish diet. Porridge for breakfast, tuna salad for lunch, fish and vegies for dinner. Each of these meals alone is quite tasty.. but come on, day in, day out? I would go nuts and order me some pizza. But each to their own.. as long as she doesnt start criticising my lunches! (today its a turkish 'stir fry' - thats the best way to explain it.. lamb, sauted with a whole load of vegies - onion, capsicum, mushroom, tomato, and zucchini with fresh oregano and a little bit of brown rice. It sounds plain, but its a great combo)

I'm pumped.

break 74 - day two

2005-11-08T09:09:00.000+11:00

Dont you love it when you get to work and there is no milk? Its especially annoying when you actually purchased the milk out of your own pocket and now its all gone gone gone. So no cereal this morning! Luckily I had a stash of packet soup and corn thins. I hate to eat packet soup.. you know the 'just add water' variety. Food should not come in the form of powder, mixed with salt and msg. My boyfriends mum, who lives in a tiny village in Turkey, makes her own powdered soup to last through the year when the crops are bad. I'm not quite sure how it works, but I think she makes the soup for real, then dries it out in the sun on sheets of cotton until it dehydrates and she is just left with powder. This powder I could eat. Its totally natural ingredients dried in a totally natural way... I dont think Continental Cup a Soup use quite the same technique...

My eating was pretty good yesterday..

b - cereal and lite milk
s - apple
l - lean cuisine (kinda have the same feelings about lean cuisine as I do with the powder soup.. but I wanted something hot for lunch!)
s - ww cottage cheese, corn thin
d - white bean salad (so good! butter beans, tomato, celery, chives, basil, olive oil and lemon) and a steak
s - low fat rice pudding

I didnt work out yesterday (intentionally.. monday is the only week night the boy and I get to spend together...) but there will be a work out tonight and I will have a nutritionally balanced day. Thats right!

Break 74

2005-11-07T09:05:00.000+11:00

I weighed myself this morning - 74kg. Ugh, I still keep bouncing around that number. Whenever I weigh myself its somewhere between 73 - 75kg. This week, its my plan to break that and start bouncing around the 73kg mark!

I went to the gym yesterday.. for the first time in a month.. ha! The Boy and I were on a tight schedule, so we only stayed for about 35 mins, but I managed to run/walk for 10 mins, ride the bike for 10 mins and spent the rest of the time doing weights with The Boy. It was great doing weights with him! He used to have a personal trainer so he was there correcting my form, increasing my weight load and telling me to drop and give him 5 push ups between sets. That bastard : ) But we had fun, and my arms are pleasantly sore today. He needs to become a member though.. $18 casual visits are just ridiculous!

I really want to exercise in the mornings, before work. If I get up at 6 am, this can totally be done. If I'm up at 6 am, I can be at the gym by 6:30 - working out until 7:30 then shower, change etc and be on the bus by 8 am. My problem, however, is red face! Does anyone have any tricks for getting rid of red face quickly? I know how I can avoid it, but that kinda defeats the purpose of being at the gym : )

There will be lots of posting this week, as I tackle 'break 74' week : )

this blog is my personal confessional!

2005-11-02T09:24:00.000+11:00

Forgive me father, for I have indulged in food, drink and gambling...

Yesterday was Melbourne Cup day, and I won me some sweet sweet money!

I also won me some fat belly : ) I am still bloated from yesterday. We had a bbq at work. Want to hear what I ate?

breakfast - cheese and tomato toasted sandwich
lunch - 3 beef sausages (I went a little crazy, because normally there are only pork sausages! I stocked up) 1 lamb cutlet, 1 flat bread, yogurt dip, potato salad, roasted vegies and a glass of coke
dinner - left over 97% fat free (100% sugar filled) chocolate pudding. Left over roast lamb on a sandwich. (in that order)
snack (because I really needed one.. eesh!) - Jam sandwich with butter.

I wasnt even drunk!

I cant blame the bbq though.. I actually ate alright, maybe 2 sausages too many, but eveything else was in small portions and I didnt go back for seconds, thirds, fourths, like the others. I'm mostly concerned about the dinner and snack. What was I thinking? I know I finished work really late and got home about 8:30pm (and was totally unprepared to be staying back, they dropped a crap load of work on me just as I was about to leave at 5:30 - bastards!) but ugh. oh well! Today is another day.

3 excuses for not going to the gym so far this week
monday - bought gym clothes to work, forgot I had 6:30 appointment with celebrant. no work out.
tuesday - bought gym clothes to work, had to stay back late. no work out
wednesday - didnt bring gym clothes to work, because I was meeting friends after work. It got cancelled about 10 mins ago. ugh! I am going to have to be good and strong, go home, get my gear and go straight away.

This post is totally boring, sorry kids : )

fatties, fish and chips

2005-10-28T09:21:00.000+10:00

Last night I was catching up on some reading over at Adventures of Born Again Gym Bunny and she had a link to a forum about fattism - employers discriminating against fat people. Now whether this is true or not, is not my main concern.. my concern are the comments by the general public and the way they see fat people. I was disgusted and so offended by these comments! I always knew that 'people' dont look kindly towards the fat, but I didnt realise some thought all we do is sit on the couch, eating burger after burger. Gorging was a word used regularly. Yes, I binge occasionally, yes I dont always make the right choices, yes I dont exercise as much as I should... but god damn it, it doesnt make me a lesser human being. (After reading as much of that forum as I could handle.. I did have a shower, wash my hair, fake tan my legs and gave myself a manicure... unkept fatty? I dont think so!)

But anyway.. I'm feeling great today. The boy and I have a gym date tomorrow, a little quality time together on the treadmill. Ha ha, My eating has been pretty good.. besides the battered fish I ate yesterday... I wasnt planning on eating battered fish. One of the girls at work suggested we get fish and chips for lunch... and we all came to the conclusion that we should get grilled fish, chips and salad. I was very happy with this.. but the fish came back battered! The fish shop near by only did fried fish.. so what was I meant to do? I ate a whole heap of salad, all my battered fish and a few chips. Afterwards, I thought I just should have picked the batter off the fish... but I really didnt think of it at the time. By the way, the fish tasted like crap and left my mouth coated in fat all afternoon.

And nicole, this was a fabulous question! You had me thinking for a long time about when our official wedding anniversary will be... especially since I wont be receiving my wedding band until Turkey (mainly because I want Turkish gold, secondly so the Turkish wedding seems more real) I say we celebrate the Sydney and the Turkish wedding anniversary! But the official date will be the first Sydney wedding, December 17th.

I hope youre all well and happy!

this may turn out to be a very long post....

2005-10-27T10:43:00.000+10:00

I am engaged! We were sitting on the couch, on Saturday, eating take out for lunch (chicken and salad for me.. don't you worry..) when my boy, got down on one knee and popped those magic words... and although I knew it was coming, it was wonderful!

So thats why I haven't been around much this past week.. way too much talking and thinking about weddings. There will be three weddings. One very soon and very small, december, in Sydney. One in September next year in Turkey (my boy is turkish) then a big party for everyone who didn't go to Turkey.

Now on to the fat side of things

For this first wedding, everything is fine.. I'm happy enough with how I'm going to look in my dress. I've already bought it, and although the sales lady was a little shocked I wanted to try on a size 14 (fuck you bitch, fuck you), it fits perfectly and I love it. Its not a real wedding dress.. just a pretty, white, summer dress that I feel very comfortable in. (there will be photos! with a blurred face.. ha ha)

If I lose another few kilos between now and december 17th (thats like, 7 weeks) I will be very happy, but I'm not going to push myself.. just carry on eating well and being active and hope it takes care of itself. (although I secretly yearn to be under 70 kgs by then! shhh... but its SO doable!)

For the Turkish wedding though, I will be wearing a real wedding dress... and real wedding dresses require sleek arms and boobs that can hold themselves up. And its the first time I will be meeting my boys family and friends.. and although they have seen photos of me and already love me... I dont want to be a fat bride.

And also! I told the girls at work about my engagement etc... and towards the end of the conversation, one of them said 'you dont have that much time really... and you'll have to get fit...' I just shrugged it off, but God damn it.. I hate it when people say shit like that. She has never noticed when I've bought my gym bag to work before, and she doesnt know that I've already lost 9kg, but I bet you now she will notice it all and just assume I'm doing this all for the wedding.. and I dont know why this pisses me off so bad.. but it just does! I guess I dont want my hard work to be related to the wedding. This isnt just about looking good in a dress! This is about me making a change in my life for the rest of my life... I'm married to this weight loss - healthy living idea too, you know?

(and thanks skinny chicki for the tag! will do it tonight)

thursday (?) weigh in

2005-10-20T08:36:00.000+10:00

I missed yesterdays weigh in! I woke up late and totally forgot about it. I wasnt organised at all yesterday! I didnt bring any food with me to work, but I did manage to have quite a healthy day... bought an egg on wholemeal roll for breakfast, picked up a banana from the sandwich shop and had that for a snack, and went to the sandwich shop for lunch and bought a wrap with lots of good things (and a baby chocolate.. shh!). On my way home from work, I bought a peach, a lean cuisine and a head of broccoli. $30 later, it was a pretty good day. So even if I'm not prepared, I've just got to summon some 'willpower' for those days.

Today, I am semi organised. I have bought snacks with me, but will buy my lunch. And I was organised enough to weigh myself this morning..... 73kg!! This number is fabulous! 1 kg away from a 10kg loss! and only 4 kg away from weighing what I did when I was 16. I remember I was fat but was fitting into a size 14. Oh bring it on! I have been trying on the occasional size 14 skirt (have I ever told you guys that I dont wear pants? I'll save this story for another day) and they are not so bad (always a flattering style, of course). But giddy up for 73!

Exercise.. hmm.. I did manage to walk home on Tuesday, but did nothing yesterday, and to be quite honest, I dont see any happening today either! After work I have to make menus for my waitressing job. But so I'm not so naughty, I will do some sit ups and what not at home tonight, maybe even get out the skipping rope.

2005-10-18T08:55:00.000+10:00

top of the mornin' to ya!

I saw a fabulous number on the scales this morning, but since today is not 'weigh day' I will keep it a big fat secret and I hope I see the same figure tomorrow.

Things have been going along great. I didnt do any planned exercise yesterday, however at 8:30 pm last night I get a call from waitressing job asking me to come in. They were super busy, so I ran down to help them, and spent the next 1 and half hours running around like crazy. And although I was totally pissed at them for calling me, it was better for my bottom than sitting on the couch watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire (yay to the guy that won the million last night!) I did make it home in time to see the last half hour of The Biggest Loser. I love the girl with the glasses and blonde hair. She reminds me of me. And we have the same body shape too.. kinda skinny up top, then a big balloon around the hips and ass. And she is just cute! (like me, der.. I joke, I joke)

Yesterday I ate quite well. For some reason, I was hungry all day! I would eat, then 2 hours later my stomach would be growling! And it wasnt a hunger/thirst problem, I was actually hungry. So I ended up going a wee bit over my calories, but it was all nutritionally balanced.

I have my one litre bottle of water next to me, a diet coke, a sandwich in the fridge, fruit and a k-time bar in my bag (in case one of yesterdays hunger pangs return!) and I have every intention of walking home from the station tonight. I'm all set!

Have a good day kids!

lets go back to bed

2005-10-17T09:01:00.000+10:00

ahh monday morning... its a rainy horrible day and I could very easily fall asleep at my desk right now. I'm exhausted!

Brunch with the family was lovely, although not great for the calories, but the brunch was in celebration of my birthday last week, so poo. If I want scrambled eggs I can have scrambled eggs (with cream, I'm very sure).

We did end up going fishing and caught FOUR leather jackets! Whilst the boy fished, I went for a hike. It was gorgeous and I even managed to run most of the way back. I really like running on rough terrain, having to dodge roots and stones, running up and down rock stairs. Its much more fun than the treadmill and it left me gasping for breath every now and then (but it a good way!) All up, I think my hike was about 5km. Next time, I will complete the entire trail, which apparently takes 2 hours return if you are strolling. But I think I could do it in less than an hour.

And onto the fish dish last night.. oh yum! The boy had last night off work so he cooked up a wonderful semi-stew thing with our leather jackets. It consisted of a little olive oil, onion, carrot, zucchini, lots of fresh tomato and a little bit of potato, all stewed together, then you add a whole peeled lemon, diced, the fish fillets straight into the stew with a touch more water, finished with tones of parsley . We served this with a little bit of organic spelt bread, and oh la la, it was one of the tastiest fish dishes I have had. Such simple wonderful flavours that all worked perfectly together.

And on another good note, the boy wants to start back at the gym. He only wants to go on the weekends, but I say great! I can go once or twice during the week, then twice on the weekend with the boy and I will be a happy happy girl.

Must go actually work! tah tah

burn baby burn

2005-10-15T17:04:00.000+10:00

Thursday afternoon I made a little book at work.. its oh so cute! it contains 40 days worth of food and exercise tracking - for my calories, fat, dairy, fruit, vege, exercise and water intake, all bound together with a red cover. I also bought the calorie/fat book. And I've been tracking for the last three days. I havent made it to the gym yet, but I have walked and been really active. Today I cleaned the house.. and I'm not talking about no quick tidy up. I'm talking about 6 hours scrubbing, dusting, moving furniture, on my hands and knees, kinda cleaning. Considering my home is the size of a large living room, 6 hours has left it sparkling! But now I'm beat and I have 5 hours of waitressing ahead. But think of the calories I have burnt!

My boy has a 'thing' for sweet pastries. Lately, when he goes on the weekend morning coffee run, he has been bringing back chocolate croissants, apple tarts, almond croissants, apricot danishes - and yes, all at once! Today I resisted, and only had two bites of the chocolate croissant, and made myself a poached egg with tomato and a slice of toast.

I have plans for tomorrow, brunch with the family, then a fishing trip with the boy. And if the fishing trip goes ahead, dependent on the weather and how long this brunch lasts for, I will walk whilst the boy fishes (I can only handle fishing for a certain amount of time before I start to go nuts!) The place where we fish is stunning! and its on the edge of a national park, so there are plenty of tracks for me to walk. And hopefully I'll be grilling some nice fresh fish tomorrow night!

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend!

well hello!

2005-10-13T09:39:00.000+10:00

Its been a long time baby, and boy have I gone off the rails. Thats all that seems to be happening lately. No gym, food I shouldnt be eating quite so regularly, not enough water etc.. all those things that make me a big fat poohbar.. but on the bright side.. living this lifestyle of sloth and gluttony hasnt lead to a gain.. I'm still hovering around the 74 to 74 kg mark. I'm still reading everyones blogs, and visiting fatfighterblogs.com daily... kinda pretending I'm still a weight loser and that I havent left.

Oh and my diet diary expired! I didnt realise I had to pay $50 every few months. I thought it was a one time fee. But any who, its no good to me now. I can only use it at home and I feel like I'm never there any more. I'm either going to use the online version (which is slow and annoying) or buy a calorie/fat book. The later is probably the best option because its portable - no excuses!

I've got a bit of thinking to do, about how I'm going to tackle this. I want to get back to the gym, to start tracking what I put in my mouth, to start shedding this fat again!

And thank you to Skinni Chicki - your comment gave me a little push.

adjusting

2005-09-25T19:02:00.000+10:00

Changing one part of your life is bound to effect other areas of your life. For me, working a 'normal' monday to friday job has turned me into a domestic goddess! The house has been perfectly clean all week (much to my boyfriends surprise!) I've been planting herbs, cutting recipies from old magazines, making preparations to turn my back patio into a summer oasis. Maybe a mon - fri job has flicked some sort of 'grown up' switch. I've even been looking at the property market. eesh!

Unfortunately, my eating and exercise has gone out the window! Ever since I went to the Hunter Valley last weekend, I've been eating like a pig and have exercised for about 1ish hours (two half hour running/walking sessions.. that I'm kinda proud of, the running is becoming easier!) The Hunter was fabulous! But it all revolved around food and alcohol. I ate way too much at the wedding, but tried to make healthy choices for the rest of the weekend, and I did okay. I was restrained at an all you can eat buffet (to leave room for some fried ice cream for dessert, ha!) But all week, I just havent been caring all that much with what I put in my mouth. And I definately havent been counting my calories.

The result - a gain of about 1.5kg. My belly has felt like pudge all week. I feel all bloaty and yuck.

I know this isnt an excuse, but I've definately been eating worse because of work. I've been accepting food that I wouldnt normally eat - biscuits, chips, toasted sandwiches on white bread with ham, two slices of cheese and avocado (hello! I dont even eat pork!) just to be polite and fit in. I've been very concious of this, and from here on, I think I'm in the 'gang' enough to reject their offers of food I dont really want to eat. So no more biscuits, unless I want one, and definately no more pork : )

I've gone shopping, prepared a healthy meal plan for the week and am all set for a fantastic week!

healthy lunch ideas

2005-09-14T18:33:00.000+10:00

help me out kids! I need some lunch ideas. Whats your favourite lunches to take to work? I'm not a big fan of sandwiches. Got any good pasta or salad ideas? or something a lot more adventureous?

wednesday.. weigh in again..

2005-09-14T11:08:00.000+10:00

and again it said 74kg! Thats 3 weeks with the scale not budging! Lets just be happy that it wasnt a gain. I should do my measurements - yes, I will, right now!

yay! check it out

chest (start) 103.5 (last month) 100 (today) 99
waist (start) 85 (last month) 82 (today) 80
hip (start) 121 (last month) 118 (today) 115.5
thigh (start) 93 (last month) 68.5 (today) 66

my body is slowly shrinking.. shrink little body, shrink!

my muscles hurt from last nights pump, but not nearly as bad as last time.

And I have a big toothache! damn wisdom teeth. I should have listened to the dentist when he reccomended I have them removed. oh the pain! ouchies!

I'm free for pump!

2005-09-13T16:47:00.000+10:00

no more working week nights means I can go to classes at the gym! There is a pump class at 5:30pm today and I'm so excited to go! But I'm going to stretch a lot this time, last time there was just too much pain, I couldnt sit for days.

I'm all so very excited about having a 'schedule'. I think my plan will be:

- to walk to and from the train station, monday to friday. (a good 20 - 30 mins each way) This also means I physically walk past the gym, which will mean I might actually walk INTO the gym most nights of the week.
- Go to the gym and run BEFORE work on Modays (that way the boy and I get Monday night to ourselves - its the only night he has off work)
- Cardio Machines Tuesday night
- Run and Cardio machines Wednesday night
- Pump class Thursday night

This is a crazy plan for me considering I barely go to the gym twice a week as it is.

But I'm so scared. I'm so scared of having a job where I sit on my ass for 8 hours! right now, its okay if I sit on my bum for 8 hours, because I know I will be walking for 5 hours at night, so I dont feel so bad. But if I sit on my bum and not go to the gym, I am going to be in some serious trouble, weight wise. My bum is going to expand, and I must act now if I dont want this to happen. I must make going to the gym a regular routine, start it as soon as I start my job, otherwise it will seem a big effort to get to the gym. I dont care if the first week I come straight home from the gym and go to sleep - thats fine, aslong as I get used to this and it becomes my life.

My other idea is to go to the gym before work - monday to thursday for 45mins, then do pump class thursday night. But I always look like shit after the gym, and I dont know if I would feel good going to work afterwards? But if I can get over this, I think I would really prefer it. I'd like having my evenings free, knowing that I had already worked out for the day. And if my boy has to get up at 6 am, I may as well get up with him too. And its getting closer to summer, so its not like I will be getting up in the dark..

Ugh, I have some thinking to do.

must go get ready for pump!

I got the job

2005-09-10T15:21:00.000+10:00

and I'm very excited! no more restaurant work, no more weekends working, just a steady 8:30am to 5:30pm job. The pay is horrible! Its the lowest possible salary I imagined I'd get. Hopefully there is a review not long after. But I didnt take the job for the money, so whatever, its still enough to live, and with our combined salaries, we can save a fair bit.

My food yesterday expanded to over 1600 cals, but it could have been a lot worse.

Today is just as naughty, but naughty because I havent eaten enough. I hate working double shifts on Saturday (I'm currently on my 2 hour break, laying on my couch with my legs hanging over the arm, trying to recharge before having to do it all over again, ugh! But this is the last time ever!)

breakfasty/snack thing: banana, 1/4 of a vegemite sandwich on grain bread, diet coke
lunchy/snack thing: 5 fat fries, can of coke

cals: 450
water: 600 ml
exercise: crap loads of walking for 6 hours, so far, with another 6 hours to come. (say if I work 12 hours, I figure I spend 8 hours walking, with 4 hours just standing - taking orders, polishing cutlery etc. so 8 hours of slow walking is over 1400 cals burnt! Thats impressive... but I dont actually record it as 'real' exercise)

I have a wedding to attend next saturday. I dont know anyone there, have only met the groom once (he is a friend of the boy). I have no idea what to wear! The wedding is being held at a vineyard (I assume, its all been very secret.. there is a bus picking us up from our hotel and taking us there.. but he is a winemaker and the wedding is somewhere in the wine region of new south wales... ) so I'm thinking it should be very girly and 'spring'. ugh! I hate shopping for an 'event'! And I figure if the groom is a winemaker, there is going to be lots of lovely wine to drink. And lots of lovely wine, means Chubba gets lovely drunk, and eats lots of lovely food, and her bottom gets lovely bigger. yay! I'll try to show a little restraint, but I wont be too worried if I dont : ) Just have to make sure I'm good for the rest of the weekend. We will be leaving Sydney Friday night and returning Sunday afternoon, so thats lots of meals eaten away from the comfort of my junk free house.

I'm going to go nap before work.

three days smoke free.

I'm smoking a pen

2005-09-09T13:18:00.000+10:00

quiting smoking AND waiting for a phone call that could very well change your life is not so good for the 'diet'.

I had a phone call this morning from a potential employer informing me that they were deciding between myself and another girl for a position I really really want. She said she would call me by the end of the day with their decision. I want this job so bad! The other day the employer left a msg on my mobile phone asking me to call her - I had butterflies in my tummy! Like when you receive a call from a boy you met on the weekend and really dig, but arent too sure if he was diggin' you too. This job is my hot new crush, and we may be going steady very soon : )

My 'jittery day of food' (and its only 1:30pm)

b: poached egg, grain bread, grilled tomato
s: milky way
l: fake nachos and salad, diet coke
s: low fat/cal icecream with fresh passionfruit

cals: 800
water: NIL!
exercise: nil

I'm going to do some cleaning and banking to keep myself occupied and away from the fridge.

oh she be back!

2005-09-08T17:20:00.000+10:00

Today, I quit smoking. I have a lovely little clear patch on my upper arm pumping nicotine into my blood system keeping me relatively sane. I'm completely on edge though. Lots of nervous energy and wiggling little fingers. I've quit before, for six months and it wasnt so hard, I occasionally had a drag of my boyfriend's smoke after sex, or when I was having a beer, but one day I decided to have my own cigarette. I thought I was 'ready', I thought I could just have one. No sir, one whole cigarette later and I was back to a pack a day. Now the boy and I are quiting together. Send me anti smoke vibes, please.

So to kick off my new healthy lungs, I started my running program today. And boy was it great! I was actually smiling whilst exercising and talking to myself 'come on bitch, you can do it, 30 more seconds!' (I dont know why I call myself bitch, but it seems to do the trick) I didnt look at the program before I left for the gym, so I made up my own using the speed intervals setting on the treadmill. walk 1.20 mins, run 1.20 mins for 25 mins. Then I used the bike for 10 mins, and then the elliptical trainer for a big 5 mins. When I hoped off the elliptical trainer, my head started spinning and I saw black patches in front of my eyes. I was going to faint. I breathed deeply and tried to take a sip of water. My hand was shaking so bad I couldnt drink from the water bottle. I freaked out. I tried to shake myself out of it, and went to the changerooms and sat down in front of the fan. I have no idea why this happened, but it went away and I felt fine. Maybe it has something to do with the nicotine patches, or maybe I was hungry? If anyone knows anything about this, please leave a comment. Otherwise I will be going to see my doctor. It scared the bejeebers out of me.

Yeah, so I've been on a little hiatus. I dont feel the need to dwell on it. I needed the break. I was generally pretty good with my eating. I'm still around 74kg. And the break has renewed my energy and I am ready to go to the next level (esp considering quiting smoking, we are in some dangerous territory baby!) I went grocery shopping today and bought lots of good foods (not that I ever buy 'bad' foods from the grocery store, all my bad choices are impulse buys), so my cupboards are fully stocked and I'm ready to roll.

Todays food:

b: fruit salad
s: salmon and cucumber sushi roll (rushed to buy it after the gym experience!)
l: Low fat creamy pasta with smoked trout. 20g chocolate. diet coke.
s: rice crackers, apple
d: will involve something with lots of vegies, havent had enough today.
**Yes - had modified veal parmagiana with atleast 2 cups of vegies and diet coke.
s: reduced fat yoghurt

cals: 1450
water: 1.5 ltr
exercise: 40 mins cardio machines. Day 1 of running program.

** Update at 11:30pm
The boy smoked 3 cigarettes at work tonight. Ugh, looks like I'm on my own.

day two

2005-09-01T15:05:00.000+10:00

I started my new job today - orientation morning, yay! I dont think I mentioned it on here, but I got a part-time design job - my first 'real job' (real because I actually had to study and complete my diploma to get this job, not just walk in off the street like my waitressing jobs.. yay!) It pays great! But unfortunately I will have to keep a few hours at the restaurant, well I dont HAVE to, but I want to cover our rent money by waitressing. The part-time job doesnt have set days so my schedule has been disrupted once again, just when I was starting to get some sort of regular lifestyle happening. I will have to be more organised and frugal with my time!

Tomorrow will be my first full day at design job, followed by a busy friday night of waitressing, then a double shift of waitressing on Saturday. I'm going to be fucked : ) Sunday I will be lazy. So I see no exercise over the next few days, however I like to think I'm burning a crap load of calories at waitressing job, esp. considering I've worked out my daily calories based on an 'office job' lifestyle, opposed to a 'waitressing job' lifestyle. does this make sense?

So I've already made my lunch for tomorrow (just doubled what I made for lunch today) and I plan on taking all my food with me to design job. This is for health reasons, and wallet reasons : )

There is a problem though. Remember last week when I ate Hungry Jacks? Well, I ate it after my job interview at design job. Its on the way to the bus stop to come home. Well, I ate Hungry Jacks AGAIN today. I remember when I was living elsewhere and had to catch the train home from college, there was a Hungry Jacks. Atleast once a week, up to 4 times a week, I would order a Whopper Jnr, no mayo, with a diet coke and eat it on the train ride home. The Hungry Jacks employees knew my order. This is dangerous. I MUST BAN MYSELF. I can have it once a month if I wish, but otherwise, its off limits. So no more Hungry jacks until October!

Food for today:
b: special k, lite milk, strawberries
s: whopper jnr, no mayo, diet coke
l: small serve pasta, tomatoes, baby spinach, parmesan, lemon juice
s: sml banana, liqourice
d: TBA

cals: 1150 (not much left for dinner! eesh)
water: 600ml
exercise: nil

a few hours until spring!

2005-08-31T15:49:00.000+10:00

Today is the last official day of winter! And I'm so excited that hot weather is just around the corner. I'm excited to put away the heater, to take the extra blanket off the bed, to start wearing thongs (flip flops) everyday (although I wore them most of winter anyways, I love my thongs). I'm hoping by the start of summer, I will be comfortable wearing tank tops by themselves and not just under sleeved tops.

Last week, after weighing in at 74kg, I moved the scale to the just outside the bathroom door. The floor is lovely and flat. I hopped on and the scale said 75kg. So I weighed again and again and yes, the scale accurately read 75kg. So I kept the scale there and kept my weight on here as 74kg. So today when I weighed in, I was 74kg, so its technically a 1kg loss, and I'm sure if I moved the scale back in the bathroom I'd be able to see a 73kg, but I'm leaving it as 74kg because I think its more accurate. But whatever, the scale is going down, thats all that matters!

I've been a slack bitch. But before I write about all the negatives or my plan to change them, I want to take a moment to reflect on how far I've come so far.. (how corn ball!)

I am no longer addicted to coca cola. I even bought a 300ml coke the other day, and it took me over 2 hours to finish the little baby of a drink. The coke addiction was a major problem in my 'old' lifestyle. Before I'd be able to drink a litre and a half and not think anything of it. Thats 630 cals and my daily limited of carbs blown! I still have a little diet coke problem, but its the lesser of two evils : )

I now feel guilty if I dont workout, and feel it physically too. Before I didnt even think about it.

I generally eat more fruit in one day, than I used to eat in one week!

my fridge is always stocked with enough fresh food to make a few interesting meals, so I dont resort to the local takeway shop for lunch

I always eat breakfast

I drink more water

I eat chocolate maybe once a week or every two weeks, and its a small serve

I'm concious about what I put into my body (thats huge)

But the thing is, whilst all of this is fabulous, I'm not doing it as much as I should be. There is room for improvement. So I've decided to bore everyone by posting everyday with my food, exercise and water intake. Having it 'public' will give me motivation to be 'tighter'. I wont be doing this forever, just for the next two weeks. here goes:

b: special k, lite milk, small banana
s: sandwich style biscuit with hazelnut filling (no idea on cals/fat. its from Turkey)
l: open toasted s/wich - artichoke, olives, onion and fetta with basic salad, balsamic dressing
s: half a cappuccino, strawberries, natural skim yoghurt, honey
d: 'modified' veal parmigaina, crap load of vegies (broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, green beans) 5 fries

cal: 1350
water: 2.4 ltrs
exercise: nil

10:40pm - I tried my hardest not to snack on food laying around the kitchen. For the first time in ages I didnt gobble up some Turkish bread, but I did steal some chips (which is actually a lot worse.. haha) must. keep. my. hands. away. from. the. food! And I cant remember the last time I drank that much water, yay for me: )

this really makes me cringe

2005-08-30T13:45:00.000+10:00

back
Originally uploaded by chubbagirl.

I see collar bones

2005-08-30T13:44:00.000+10:00

front
Originally uploaded by chubbagirl.

and excuse the white knickers, eesh!

ooh! photos!

2005-08-30T13:42:00.000+10:00

side
Originally uploaded by chubbagirl.

now I can NEVER reveal my face on this blog, EVER! ha. how embarassing : )

but check it out! I'm not exactly sure how much I weigh in the 'before' because it was taken atleast 18 months ago, but I'm guessing around 84kg. maybe more? maybe less?

I can see a huge difference though, which is just fabulous.

i ate hungry jacks

2005-08-25T13:56:00.000+10:00

thats Burger King to the rest of the world. (does burger king still exist in Australia, or is it all Hungry Jacks now?)

Whopper Jnr. no mayonaise. Small fries. Diet Coke.

And I feel like pure shit.

Never again.

the scale moved

2005-08-24T13:33:00.000+10:00

officially 74kg this morning!

I even moved the scale around a bit to see if it moved much, but 74kg was still the average!

I went shopping today for interview clothes and found that clothes are definately fitting better. I even went to a store where, before, most things barely fitted, but I left the store with two new tops! They are both a little snug and I would prefer them a tiny tiny bit bigger, but lose me a few kilos and they will fit perfect. I'm a 14 up top and I cant wait until I fit into a size 14 on the bottom (I'm a 16 right now, and was a snug 16 - read: actually a size 18, but would try every 16 until I found a style that would fit) it will open up a world of shopping pleasure. 16 are few and far between. I was totally naughty and spent way too much money and am sitting here with some shoppers guilt.

Oh, and this afternoon's interview got cancelled, again! haha. oh well, its apparently going to be on tomorrow afternoon. But they are testing my patience. They will call tomorrow morning to tell me if I have an interview for that afternoon - which is really annoying. I have the interview for the other job tomorrow morning at 11 am.

So to ensure I go to the gym tomorrow, I am going to have to do my workout and be home by 9:30 am. I've never been to the gym at that time, I bet it will be really busy with all the people doing their workouts before work. Damn.

chubba wants to run!

2005-08-23T16:48:00.000+10:00

yep, thats right. I was at the gym earlier today, walking fast on the treadmill and decided to turn it up a notch to start running - I ran for 1.5 mins then walked for a bit, then did another run for another minute. And it wasnt so hard. It was actually bloody good. I felt oxygen reaching the furthest corners of my body, my head felt clear, I felt healthy.

So I've looked up the Couch to 5k plan and I'm starting it on Monday (I need a fresh week to start, otherwise all the workouts and weeks will confuse me.. haha) But its posted here, in writing, that I, Chubba Girl, will be running as of Monday!

In other great news, the job I went for last night, has asked me back (already!) for a second interview tomorrow. AND! Another job I applied for wants me to come in for an interview on Thursday! So of course, I need to go shopping tomorrow morning for some more interview clothes (ah, what a fabulous excuse! The Boy cant argue with that one) I'm hoping I find something suitable in the short amount of time I have.

And I've found the most addictive Rice Pudding. 97% fat free - but the tub is 350gms! Its so hard not to eat the whole tub! I ate a whole one yesterday (over the course of the day) and asked the Boy to bring me home another tub today. He tells me that his recipe for Rice Pudding tastes exactly the same - so he will be making me up a batch on low fat milk.. I have to stop thinking about it, otherwise I will go open the fridge and eat the other tub. eek!

I have to go shower and get ready for work tonight, ugh!

long time, no talkie

2005-08-23T09:14:00.000+10:00

After Thursday's whinge about the gym, I did a killer workout on Friday and even did a little run on the treadmill! I didnt get to go to my Monday night pump class (had the job interview when the class was on, but the job interview went great! The psychic lady who works near me told me that Monday was a lucky day for me - so here's hoping!) so I'm going to the gym today, after I do a little cleaning.

I visited my family on Sunday. If you recall, I had a mini goal of being 74kg by then. Before I left, I weighed in at 74.5kg - close enough I say! This morning I saw an even better figure on the scale however its not my official weigh day so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to record it as a loss.

I was a little unsure about how my eating would go on Sunday - the cupboards there are stocked full of nutella, coke, nuts etc (my brothers live at home - I'm sure there would be none of that if Mum had her way) But since Mum has been doing weight watchers, everything we ate was weight watchers friendly. I made those Pecan Date Brownies - ugh! They were like rubber! So I ate some sponge cake my Nan had bought over : ) But I totally stayed within my allowance, and went for a walk with my Mum early that morning.

The family noticed I had lost some weight, mainly my tits though. ha! Mum has lost weight too and I can really tell. She has just shrunk all over. Yay for her! She is really into it. She has a folder with weight watcher recipes printed off the net, is walking almost everyday and has 'before' pictures hung on her cupboard, along with a picture of what she would like to look like. My youngest brother finds the 'inspiration' picture hilarious considering my Mum is 5'2" with dark hair and her inspiration woman looks 6'ft with long flowing blonde hair 'you gonna dye your hair blonde too mum?'. Its kind of odd seeing what other people aspire to look like.

I borrowed my mum's digital camera, so I will be doing some progress pictures very soon! stay tuned kiddies.

I ate your caviar!

2005-08-18T16:49:00.000+10:00

Thats right Morris, I ate some of the caviar set aside for your function tomorrow night, and I also peeled the prawns that will sit atop little slices of avocado and toast that you will surely eat. Looking at that photo of you makes me very happy that I ate your caviar. I hope you like the prawns.

______________________________________________

I have been lazy today - besides peeling a crap load of prawns : )

My job interview was cancelled - or shall I say 'postponed' which was very annoying. I arrived half an hour early - perfect amount of time to have a cigarette and walk around long enough to rid myself of the stench, but I received a call saying he was still in a meeting and was unsure what time it would finish. ugh! so on the train and back home I went.

Good news - my eating has been fantastic! Thank Allah for lebanese bread pizza - the tasty way to eat a whole heap of veggies in one meal. I plan on making these little babies - Pecan Date Brownies in the next week. They look yummy and for only 1 point, surely they must be good for you! (I dont follow weight watchers, but I figure if its on the weight watchers site, the kjs and fat must be pretty low.. will work out the exact figures later) I hope they are moist and chewy.

I'm so over the gym though. I just could not be bothered to go exercise - story of my life I guess. For the last few days, the thought of getting on the treadmill leaves me cold. I wish there was a way of bottling the feeling I have after working out, so I could sniff it and it would make me want to go to the gym.

I gotta go get ready for work - hopefully its really busy so I burn a bit of energy off!

wednesday is weighday

2005-08-17T11:04:00.000+10:00

confusion on the scale! My cheap scale read 74kg! I was a little excited, but not convinced. So I moved the scale to a different part of the bathroom - 76kg! NO! I stepped on again, 75kg.. hmm.. I adjusted the scale 74.5 then 75.5. Ugh! I am just saying I had no loss this week. I was feeling a little disheartened, but I had been slack, so its perfectly normal not to be at 74kg this week.

To make myself feel better, I took my measurements for this month.

waist - 85cm to 82cm
chest - 103.5cm to 100cm
hip - 121cm to 118cm
thigh - 93cm to 68.5cm

ha! whats with my thigh!? I must have taken the measurements wrong last month because thats 25cm gone! (or almost 9in) and my thigh was originally bigger than my waist. I know I have huge thighs, but is that even possible?!

I should go to the gym today, but I have a job interview tonight (at 7pm! who has job interviews at that time?) - Its a graphic design position, because, even though you cant tell from my crappy blogger template, I'm actually a graphic designer (I will get around to making this site hotter, but I'm terrible when designing my own stuff, too many ideas! and I cant decide, damn libran) and I've got lots of stuff to do to get ready, plus the house is a huge mess and I have lots of washing to get done. And I'm still freaking sore from that pump class two days ago! oh excuses excuses! I will go tomorrow, I promise.

I rock

2005-08-15T21:40:00.000+10:00

I went to pump class for the first time. The instructor put me up the front of the class so I could learn, fabulous (note the sarcasm) but I'm actually rather glad because it was a little tricky. Judging by how jelly-like my legs were walking down the stairs, I doubt I will be able to walk tomorrow.

I've eaten so much today, but I'm under my kilojoules for the day, and with my workout, I'm way below! This makes up for some of the weekends naughtiness. I even ate dessert - low fat icecream, half a banana fried in a non stick pan, and maple syrup. Under one gram of fat! totally tasty! a bit high in kjs though, because of the maple, considering looking for a 'diet' version.

I ate lots of vegies (could have had another serve of fruit though) and have almost finished all my water for the day. I am a very good girl.

damn weekend

2005-08-15T11:08:00.000+10:00

so naughty! I cant be bothered to go into how naughty I was over the last two days. I didnt complete my exercise challenge and I ate way too much crap. I felt so sick last night. But I wanted to feel sick. I cant explain it. I ate dinner (not the best choice, but it was tasty) and I felt pleasantly full, then I decided to eat 2 slices of vegemite buttered toast... then another 2 slices! I knew I was eating way too much and I knew I would feel so bloody sick, but I did it anyway. I still dont know why. Some sort of rebellion maybe. No more talk of this! It happened, its over.

Today I'm back on track, vowing to drink all my water, eat lots of fruit and veggies and go to the gym. yay for me!

I had a good weekend though. I bought two new plants for my front patio and re-potted some other plants, so now my patio is looking cute! and we have some more privacy. I really want more plants! The front patio is good for now, but our back courtyard has nothing, and it could be a private little sanctuary. We need a little outdoor table and just 2 chairs and lots of plants. I'm thinking to ask everyone for plants for my birthday (in october). The boy doesnt understand my obsession with plants and making our tiny home gorgeous because its just a 'temporary' home until he gets residency and we can afford to live in some thing bigger. But I quite like this place, and the more we utilise the space we have, like the courtyard, the more live-able it becomes. We are so lucky to have a studio apartment with two decent sized outdoor spaces.

I also bought two new tops! one was a 'one size fits most' and I guess I am 'most'! and the other was a size 14 (US10 I think) - its a wrap top, so its adjustable, but it still fits. I cant wait for the day I wear the top in its true and tightest form. Its officially a 'goddess top'!

someone noticed

2005-08-11T10:09:00.000+10:00

my favourite local homeless lady is the first person to notice that I've lost weight. 'sis, you're real pretty, ya know? and you've lost weight, yeah, ever since you started working here, youve lost weight - dont you reckon frank?' Frank is her fella. Frank just smiled. Fine then Frank, I know who will be getting more of my change this week : )

My poor boy has a terrible case of the flu. I was up late last night looking after him, he couldnt sleep and kept moaning and groaning. I was really quite worried about him, he was mumbling something about eggs, he was delirious, but maybe he was just talking Turkish. He kept patting my face, I think it was his way of saying thank you, but those sweaty palms retardly patting my face scared me. But I'm paranoid like that. Occasionally I cant hear him breathing and feel the urge to check his pulse in the middle of the night. I cant imagine what I'll be like when I have children. I'll be carrying that baby monitor with me everywhere!

I've got to get off my ass and go to the gym! I didnt go yesterday - I changed my goal. (ha! I'm bloody hopeless.. but dammit, I hurt so bad yesterday from my pilates workout on tuesday.. if I coughed or sneezed it sent ripples of pain through my stomach muscles) Today - cardio and weights. Friday or Sunday - cardio.

And thanks muse and kerri for your comments!!

weigh in!

2005-08-10T10:14:00.000+10:00

girl, you be doin' good!

Today, I officially weigh 75kg (165lbs) and my BMI is now 29!!! I am no longer obese, just plump, just overweight! just a little less chubba : )

thats all!

ramble

2005-08-09T14:30:00.000+10:00

muse posed a question in my comments about why we crave fat after a big night of drinking... I know the answer to this! And sweetheart, its got to do with the change in our blood sugar levels from the alcohol and also, the fat apparently lines our tummies so we feel less sick. Slow release carbs fix up our blood sugar levels and are a much better choice, but dammit, a fry up feels so much better at the time : )

As I promised myself, I went to the gym today! I'm a good girl. An hour of pilates. I have never done pilates before, and the instructor was pushing us hard today (well, that was the general consensus from the regulars in the class, I wouldnt have a clue). My lower abs were on fire! The instructor thought I had been to his class before, but when he discovered it was my first class he said 'oh really?! you did great!'. Thank you! thank you! I'll be back next week.

So one day down, three more to go. Cardio - Wednesday. Weights - Thursday. Cardio - Friday! And I really wanted to go on all three days, but there is a part of me that knows I wont... so I'm going to set myself a reward. I know my 'health' should just be the reward but I need some extra motivation. I just dont know what I really want though, ha! Maybe a pedicure. Okay! After my friday workout, if I've completed my exercise goals, I will stop by the beautician and make an appointment for monday. wonderful!

I'd like to share my favourite lunch time pasta meal. Its not anything new, but its my 'fall back' recipe if I cant think of anything healthy or tasty to eat and it always hits the spot. Its around 9g fat, 1500 kjs (350ish cals) depending on how much pasta you use.

- Linguine or Spaghetti, boiled
- Cherry tomatoes (grape tomatoes are best) under the grill (or broiler I think its called in the states) until they collapse and get all juicy

when the pasta and tomatoes are done, mix them in a bowl with

- Wild rocket (arugula)
- Tuna in oil (drained really well, you could use spring-water tuna, but I find the little bit of oil left makes a huge difference in the pasta, and you dont need to add any extra olive oil)
- Lots of lemon juice (this is vital!)
- salt and pepper
- finished with a little bit of shaved parmesan

I love it! Its just as good without the tuna, but I like the extra protein. I like to add some fresh chilli too, if I've got it in the fridge. Its good cold too : )

oh, and I worked out why the last few days have been pretty hard - that time of the month! well dur!

tah tah!

3 girls. 4 bottles of champagne.

2005-08-08T14:12:00.000+10:00

and one huge headache!

After my blow out of thursday, I was on a mission to be healthy. Friday was good, saturday was great, and the start of sunday was spot on.. until I met up with the 'girls' in the afternoon. It was a gorgeous sunny Sydney day, we met at Opera Bar and went straight for the champagne. I know champagne is my enemy! I know I'm going to drink too much, that I'm going to get totally giggley, we will talk way too much about sex and relationships and in the end, I'm probably going to throw up. But thankfully, last night I didnt spew! I dont know how.. it may have something to do with the big mac meal I ate! I ate that big greasey pile of crap in less than a minute, then passed out on the couch.

But you know what? I dont feel guilty at all! I felt guilty about Thursday, but yesterday was fun! I needed a night like that.

Today I've been craving some grease. I wanted hot chips, but opted for some home-made baked potato wedges. It did the trick : )

No gym today, but I'll be back in full swing tomorrow! I promise myself. But right now, I think I need a sugar free red bull, and way more water.

Oh, and I have a question, for any one who reads this (and I got my counter, I know someone is looking at this site!) If I am 'allowed' to consume around 1500 cals, but then exercising and burning 500 cals should I be eating those calories? some of them? all of them? none of them?

disaster struck!

2005-08-05T10:29:00.000+10:00

Yesterday began quite well - fabulous balanced breakfast, and I knew I wouldnt be able to make it to the gym but I was okay with this because my body was still on fire from my workout the day before and I was having trouble sitting to go to the toilet (damn lunges and squats!) I was at the printers and had to wait for my print job, so I went to the crepe shop next door for lunch.

I figured that crepe mixture couldnt be that high in kjs or fat, so I ordered a vegetable crepe, minus the creamy white sauce. And when the waitress gave me my meal, it came with buttery garlic bread and salad smothered in creamy dressing. Thats fine, I thought, I dont have to eat the sides. I started to tuck into the side of crepe.. I felt something creamy in my mouth, much like cheap mayonnaise, I investigated further, it WAS cheap mayonnaise! There wasnt that much, so I continued to eat a little more - all the vegetables in side where completely cold. I ate another small mouthful and gave up. No way was I going to sacrifice my kilojoules on this poor excuse for a crepe. My crepe maker noticed that I had stopped eating and came over to ask what was wrong. I hate this sort of confrontation. I explained to him, in a very small voice what was wrong. He musnt have heard my complaint about the mayonnaise, but stated that the vegetables were cold because they were fresh. Well dur, but youre meant to leave the crepe on the heat until its all heated through, I didnt say this to him, because he seemed so nice and naive. So I went to the cashier to pay, were he met me there are asked if it still tasted okay (what the?) I told about the mayonnaise, even though I had asked for no creamy white sauce, and that I cant eat foods like that right now. He still charged me full price.

I will never again eat a crepe from a place that also sells asian food and is run by asians (oh dont get me wrong! I love asians and have nothing against them, but I should have known better. Just like I wouldnt eat Italian made by Indians who also have a few Indian meals on the menu - you just know it isnt gonna be good!)

I dont know why, but that whole experience really screwed up my day. I was mulling over it for ages (and still am, ha!). Despite having refused to waste my kilojoules on that meal, I ended the day 2000kjs (around 500cals) above my daily limit - with no real exercise! I bought a mini cheese and spinach pide, ate chocolate coated Turkish Delight, Spaghetti Vongole for dinner and more than my fair share of Turkish bread at work.

Oh little piggie, why did you do it? Was I so disheartened by my failed attempt at a healthy lunch, that I just threw my hands up? Did I feel guilty for making the crepe maker feel like shit?

But today is a new day! One step back, three steps forward : )

my thighs burn!

2005-08-03T11:24:00.000+10:00

damn those lunges. They are perhaps my most hated exercise. But they feature on my new program set today by the gym. Its not so bad (but I'm pissed he didnt take my body fat % - I've never had that done before and I'm very curious!)

- 2 days 45 -60 mins cardio machines
- 1 day weight training
- 1 day pilates or yoga

Thats a very do-able 4 days a week.

Yesterday, after my gym workout (30 mins cardio) I met up with the boy and ate like a little piggie! A chicken burger (grilled breast meat, no mayo - could have been a lot worse) with half a bucket of hot chips and half a can of coke, then afterwards we hired a movie and I bought a little tub of ice-cream. At work, my boss made a pizza and told me to eat some - so I did : ) I only had once slice, and these slices were tiny (about 1/2 of a 'normal slice') but I still felt very naughty. I still stayed under my total kilojoules for the day (even without my workout, I would have only gone over by about 100 or so kjs) but I had a feeling of total guilt, but then I remembered how I used to eat - this is nothing compared. I would have eaten my burger with mayo, got a whole bucket of chips, a whole can of coke, maybe even a 600ml, would have chosen a fattier icecream, like an almond magnum, and got my boss to make me my own pizza instead of having just one slice of his. You've come a long way baby : )

And to prove this, I weighed in at 76kgs this morning!

I'm yet to notice any real body changes though. I thought after 6kgs I'd be able to see a bit of improvement - I keep thinking about having 6, kilo tubs of margarine slathered onto my body - surely I should look a little skinnier! My belly feels smaller, and the boy says I now have a 'smaller ball head' (oh, isnt he just a charmer!) but besides that, I feel the same. I've got some old photos of me at 86kgs (approx.) I should take new photos and compare, but alas, we have lent our digital camera to a friend and wont be getting it back for 2 months or so. Later this month I'm going to visit the family, so maybe I can steal mum's and take some photos.

Speaking of seeing the family, I hope to be 74kg by then. Thats 10% of my body weight reduced! (and almost a beaker and a half to give to Renee!)

Mum has joined weight watchers, and has been walking a few times a week. I told her to buy the Lazy Girls Guide. Apparently her leader lost 80kgs! geepers! Thats more than me off her body! I feel heavy and cumbersome as it is, but bugger if I could carry another one of me around all the time, I wouldnt be able to move. I make the boy piggy back me sometimes, and he can barely move : ) (although, I piggy back him just fine.. the weak little boy)

Well I should go, my house is a den of slack right now and needs a big clean. tah tah!

2005-08-01T09:42:00.000+10:00

I'm really impressed with myself. I've really been trying to be healthy, and its working. And my Lazy Girls Guide is kicking into action - I'm slowly introducing more and more into my life. I was already writing down everything I ate and watching my kilojoules and fat - but I'm trying to eat on schedule, and eat lots more fruit and yoghurt as snacks. The yoghurt isnt really for me - I've never been a big fan, except for natural yoghurt in savoury food, but right now I've got three different varieties in the fridge! And I actually intend on eating them before they expire : )

Friday I went to the gym and worked out on the cardio machines - welcome back elliptical trainer, I love you. I remember the first time I ever used that machine, I almost died but it gave me a feeling of euphoria, just like it did on friday. In regards to the gym - there are no classes on during the day that I want to attend (only boxing classes... which should have been fine, but I saw one of the classes in progress - all men, all hitting very bloody hard. eek! I'm wussing out of those, for now) so it will be the cardio machines and weight training until I have nights free to do classes. And I can pretty much rule out any weekend exercise - work all day/night on saturday and sunday is the only day the boy and I have together, so sunday is ours to do whatever we please and that doesnt involve going to the gym!

So this is my plan for this week:

Monday - no gym. 30 min walk to drawing class
Tuesday - 40 mins on cardio machines, 20 mins weights
Wednesday - Fitness assessment, 40 mins on cardio
Thursday - 40 mins cardio, 20 mins weights
Friday - 40 mins cardio

As you can see I've got a fitness assessment on Wednesday, and I'm a little scared about that, But I really want to ask some questions about using the weight machines and figure out a program. And I've never had my body fat read before.. ha! I'll be 83% body fat!

Lots has happened since I last posted and I cant be bothered to write it all, so I shall bullet point : )

- Ate chocolate twice. Both times it was bought by the boy, but instead of eating more than half of it like I used to, I only had a small amount - one Ferreo Rocher and one square of a Kinda Bueno. They were both delicious.
- After working a double shift on Saturday, I almost ate a very greasy pizza. Thankfully it was the boy who had to make me the greasy pizza, so he was shocked ate my request. 'you're going to eat that?' nice question boy! He instead made me a small vegetarian pizza, with hardly any cheese. And I know whats in the dough, its nothing 'bad'. I am so grateful that I told him about my weightloss endeavours, he saved me.
- Grabbed breakfast on Sunday on the way to the boat shed (we hired a boat and went fishing all day... it was wonderfully lazy and the boat was big enough for me to lay down and read in the sun) I went to a different shop to get a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich, whilst the boy went to the bakery to get himself a chocolate croissant and apricot danish. I am a good girl : )
- And I apologise for criticising The Lazy Girls Guide recommendation of packaged pre-prepared foods. I almost called Rio Grande for some mexican last night, but got off my ass and picked up a lean cuisine, steamed some extra broccoli and mashed a potato (because the lean cuisine was 'low-carb' and I'd had hardly any carbs all day) and although it wasnt the tastiest meal I've ever eaten, and I was shocked by the list of ingredients, it was better than making the phonecall for home delivered fat : ) (although, it want any quicker.. damn me for not having a microwave)
- The boy bbq'ed me a big fat lobster in my break on saturday! It was still twitching and kinda alive (despite being cut in half) when he 'threw it on the barbie'. I felt bad for the lobster, but was so excited it was going to be so fresh! mmm.. yum... lobster we cant really afford.. mmm.

one week chocolate free!

2005-07-29T09:39:00.000+10:00

how fun! I made it! And I almost made it on the coke, its been 4 days coke free : )

I told my Boy that I havent had chocolate for a whole week, and whilst he was impressed, he was a little concerned too 'you didnt used to eat THAT much chocolate, did you?' No, but the chocolate represents! The 'no chocolate' represents a commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

Yesterday I joined the cheap gym! And cheap it is. They had a special on, $450 for the whole year if you paid upfront. It is a little dodgy and kinda smells like Glen 20, but that means its clean, right? hehe. And all the big muscle men are in a separate room to the cardio machines. whoo hoo! With my membership, I get 10% off Rebel Sport, so I purchased some cross trainers. Its the first pair of REAL sports shoes I think I have ever bought, all my other runners are 'fashion' shoes. I was a little pissed at the lack of choice in women's sport shoes though. Walls and walls of mens shoes, and a little corner dedicated to women, and all of those were ug-ly! I dont think the guy at Rebel appreciated me telling him this, but its true. Why cant they make cross trainers that look as cute as the fashion runners?

And whilst I was in the mood to spend money on myself, I purchased 'The lazy girls guide to losing weight and getting fit' A.J Rochester. I've been wanting to buy this for a long time but always felt a little embarrassed, but lately I've just been thinking 'fuck it'. Much like how I went to the beauty salon to get a bikini wax (a g-string bikini wax actually, I had to ask the 16 year old girl exactly what that was, ha!). I normally wax myself because I've never wanted the skanky teen girls looking at my fat thighs but 'fuck it' - they chose to wax fannies (the australian fanny, not the US fanny, although they wax those too) so they can look at my fat fanny : )

(and I feel a little bad calling them skanky, but at this particular place, they really are all skanky. All of them are under 20, wear shit lots of sparkly make up, big hoop earrings, and BIG hair.. they crack me up)

So far, the lazy girls guide is exactly what I need. She is spot on about how I want to do lose weight and get fit and healthy (minus the processed, pre-prepared foods she seems to advocate in the beginning, but I guess it does make life easier and its better than chinese take-out)

I could write a huge post on the lazy girls guide, but I'll save it until I've finished it.

Got to go do the washing before I can hit the gym. tah tah!

woop woop!

2005-07-27T10:46:00.000+10:00

officially 77kg! and my belly feels small today, my little little belly!

I must stop staying up crazily late reading weightloss blogs. last night it was until 2am (sure, I got home from work at midnight, but thats not the point) so today I got up after 10am! ugh, I feel like I'm wasting my days.

must. get. off. computer.